


those soft lads

by littlelooneyluna



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, Gen, M/M, Missing Scenes, SAPPY SOPPY FLUFF, Soft lads, Stolen Moments, affair!robron
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2017-03-19
Packaged: 2018-08-12 23:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 31,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7953988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelooneyluna/pseuds/littlelooneyluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>unconnected mini one shot fics mostly taking place during their affair that show us how soft and soppy they could be.</p><p>#26 - aaron notices the way robert kisses his neck and the buries his head into it whenever they embrace. it makes him question whether it is robert's thing or ... theirs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The notepad

**Author's Note:**

> Hiiii so these aren't going to be the longest one shot fics but they're (mostly) really cute and fluffy lol. When I started writing them, I began naturally thinking back to the affair days and wanting to add more soppy cute moments. Some of the chapters will be set in a particular month or around a certain time but most of them aren't sepcefied and are just taking place during the affair. I'll always let you know whether or not it applies to a certain time (but to be fair it should be pretty clear once you start reading) 
> 
> This one hasn't got a particular month set to it, but you can assume it's long before the paddy drama when everything went a lil sour!

Aaron usually wasn't so brazen, he usually waited until he saw Chrissie drive off and leave the estate but this time he had this need to see Robert that he couldn't control. Sam had asked for some help taking some things up to Home Farm and Aaron had of course offered to help out, making sure to work quickly as he offloaded things onto the grounds and told Sam he had to leave — better things to be doing.

Aaron knocked on the office back door, poking his head around the door and seeing Robert sitting there, head down into his desk as he wrote in a small notepad and then typed away on his laptop. Robert kept on working as if he hadn't heard Aaron and it gave Aaron the perfect chance to _watch_ Robert work, watch the concentration on his face and actually _admire_ him.

He rarely got the chance to.

Nearly a minute went by before Aaron dramatically cleared his throat and saw Robert look up at him, confusion at first and then a warm smile that told Aaron he was welcome.

"Well this is a nice surprise..." Robert said, relaxing on his chair a little more and trying to act as if he wasn't busy.

Aaron walked towards his desk and sat on top of it, pushing aside the papers and kicking his feet out like a child. "Sammy wanted help and I offered." He said shutting his shoulders, "Thought I'd come and see ya." He added, leaning over to Robert and kissing him hungrily.

Robert fell into the kiss, not believing how much Aaron _still_ wanted him after months of uncertainty. Robert had to pull away, fear creeping in as he realised that Lawrence had only popped out and would be back any minute.

"Lawrence he — he's coming back," Robert panted out, tutting at himself for ruining things and making Aaron let out a disappointed "Oh." in response.

Robert sighed as he saw Aaron turn away from him and look towards the door sadly, "Hey, you keep on kissing me though and maybe time will go slower." He whispered, a hand pulling at Aaron's face and tugging him back towards him.

Robert was cut off once again by the sound of his phone ringing, he had been waiting for hours to get this call and the thought of missing it and earning hours of grief from Lawrence made him feel torn. Aaron felt Robert tense around him and pulled away with a sigh, "Answer it, I'll wait." Aaron mumbled out, feeling as though _waiting_ was all he seemed to do.

Robert picked up the phone and mouthed a thank you to Aaron, standing up slowly and signalling that he wouldn't be long with his hands as he walked out of the room, "Hi Brian, thanks for getting back to me."

Aaron rolled his eyes and looked at the clock, Adam would have something to say he thought as he sat down on Robert's chair and absorbed the familiar scent of Robert. Aaron couldn't help but look around his desk and see how messy he had made it within a matter of minutes, Robert was quite the perfectionist and Aaron instantly felt bad as he began stacking papers and ordering them again.

Suddenly one of the notepads fell onto the floor, one of the pages creasing a little in the process and making Aaron curse under his breath for ruining something. Aaron bent down as he picked up the notepad and then his eyes widened in shock as he pressed down on the curved page and saw the content.

Most of it was just swirls, doodles that scattered the page and Aaron couldn't help but laugh because he had honestly thought Robert's notepads were filled with nothing but strictly business jargon _not_ adorable doodles of cars and tractors and —

Aaron's eyes fell onto a name, his own, and then saw it again and again and again.

_Aaron. Aaron. Aaron._

It was cluttering the corner of the page and his heart almost gave way. The thought of Robert doodling his name as if he was his teenage crush was something Aaron would never get over, not over.

Aaron dared to turn the page over and saw more doodles, curly shapes and swirls and then his name was there again, fancy writing and all. Aaron pulled a hand over his mouth and delicately stroked over his name, feeling almost _connected_ to Robert that little bit more. Feeling as though Robert thought about him just as much as Aaron did when they weren't in each other's company.

Aaron heard footsteps and pushed the notepad down again, smiling as he saw Robert walk back into the room.

"Look how about we drive out somewhere? Just me and you." Robert offered, pulling on his blazer and tilting his head towards Aaron who just couldn't help but smile at him. "What?" Robert asked, not understanding why Aaron was looking at him so intensely, so lovingly.

Aaron shook his head hard trying not to smile at Robert so warmly, "Er, nothing." He said quickly before frowning and getting up, "Don't ya have to work? I don't want you falling behind —"

"Yeah but I'd rather be with you so..." Robert said effortlessly, as if there was no contest and making Aaron feel all tingly.

Aaron nodded his head, "I'll text Adam and tell him there's been a crisis with Sam or something." He mumbled, walking away from the desk and getting out his phone as he watched Robert pack up some stuff by his desk, taking _the_ notepad and placing it delicately in his bottom draw.

Aaron couldn't help but notice how delicate and gentle Robert was with it, making sure it wasn't bent too much as he fitted it in and pushed some papers on top of it, hiding it from view.

Robert caught Aaron off guard, staring up too quickly and making Aaron blush. "Ready?" Robert asked, wondering if Aaron had text Adam yet or not.

Aaron nodded his head along, "Yeah let's go."


	2. The research

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one is set the day after the famous robron hug (12th January) that made us all melt lol. Enjoy! Xx

Robert came through the door of the scrap yard, meeting Aaron who seemed particularly unamused by his presence. He was tense, agitated and Robert knew already that it was still about Cain. The day before he had honestly hoped that some of Aaron's fears for his uncle had been helped, but now seeing the way Aaron seemed to be trying his hardest to burn a hole through the paper with his pen mad him realise it was _still_ there.

"You alright?" Robert offered anyway, a little smile on his face as he spoke and spirit still there despite the lack of response from Aaron.

"Brew?" Robert tried again, this time a little more forceful and enough to make Aaron actually acknowledge his presence.

Aaron put down the pen in his hand and looked towards Robert, "What are you doing here?" He asked, some aggression in his voice because a part of him wondered if Robert wanted sex. "Look I'm still not that —"

Robert tensed, the thought of Aaron thinking he was that single minded wounded him a bit, "Two sugars, dash of milk?" He said swiftly changing the subject and turning back round to check with Aaron if he was correct.

Aaron frowned, "How do you know that?" He wondered, confused as to how Robert knew exactly how he liked his tea, they were hardly known for their small talk.

Robert folded his arms over and shrugged, "Heard you tell Bob." He admitted.

Aaron was slightly taken aback at the words, Robert had heard and _remembered_ as if it was something important.

"Stalking me where you?" Aaron raised an eyebrow in response to Robert's words, playing cool.

"Maybe..." Robert teased, glad he had been able to lighten the mood a little.

Aaron's phone began to vibrate and suddenly he was looking down and sighing hard, it instantly worried Robert as he saw Aaron's face fall slightly.

Robert cleared his throat, "Is — is there any news about Cain?" He asked tentatively.

Aaron lifted his head up and sighed, "No, nothing. Nothing at all." Aaron lifted a hand up to his head and rubbed at it hard.

Robert could see how tense and scared Aaron still seemed about it all and suddenly he was darting towards his bag without even thinking anything through in his head.

"Er, here." Robert pulled out three sheets of paper that had been highlighted all over, bright colours that attracted Aaron's attention immediately as he watched how awkward Robert seemed because he was planning to cower out of actually giving them to Aaron.

"What's this?" Aaron asked, taking the papers and then suddenly gasping because they were all about Cain's condtion, paragraphs upon paragraphs of information that made everything seem clearer to Aaron.

"Robert —" Aaron didn't know what he was going to say, and a part of him was thankful when he was cut off by Robert's waving hand.

"I was just — well ya know I, I thought it could help put things into perspective but if it's too much then, then I'll take it -"

Aaron looked up at Robert, eyes wide and mouth open because he had ended seen Robert like this before, flustered and unsure of how to get his words out properly.

"No." Aaron said quickly, "No I —" his eyes fell onto a highlighted section, points talking about aftercare and the steps to recovery, "Thanks." He let out, avoiding Robert's eyes because he knew if he looked a little longer he would say something that would scare him off.

  
Robert cleared his throat, he saw the look on Aaron's face, he seemed grateful —  _truly_ grateful. "Yeah well, it was no problem — took minutes."

_You mean hours, finding the right website that wouldn't scare the hell out of Aaron too much?_

Aaron nodded, "Yeah but you didn't need to do it for me." He pointed out, almost stretching out the kind gesture and making Robert squirm.

Robert shrugged his shoulders, "I know I didn't but, I mean well yeah I _did_ 'cos you know ... I don't like seeing ya worried, it's not nice." He mumbled out, too honestly, too awkwardly as if he was finally speaking to his crush for the first time.

Aaron flickered his eyes for a minute, "I'm glad you did though, you're not all bad after all." He added with a small smile on his face.

Robert rolled his eyes and sighed, "Yeah don't tell anyone though." He muttered out, moving towards the door and then being pulled back by Aaron unexpectedly who was pushing him against the wall and kissing him softly. "You can be amazing you know..." He whispered, low and honest and enough to make Robert question what he meant.

Did Aaron mean that sometimes he could be amazing like now, or did he mean Robert had the _potential_ to be amazing, that Aaron _saw_ amazingness in Robert?

The questions fell to the back of his mind as he kissed Aaron back, hard and fast and then suddenly it stopped as Aaron grabbed at Robert's jacket and pulled him into this fierce hug, a hug that said _hold me, just you, only you can hold me_ and Robert found himself obliging without a second thought, no where near as awkward and unexpected as their hug the day before.

_Progress._


	3. The freckles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is really short but I wanted to get another one out before tomorrow, this is set during that Home Farm week last year in April. Enjoy <3

Aaron always grew sleepy after sex, he would happily lay back into Robert's arms and fall asleep to the sound of Robert against him. This time however Aaron was up for pillow talk, a small smile on his face as he looked across at Robert and studied all his freckles, tracing his hands over them.

"You've got loads," Aaron whispered in amazement, dozens and dozens scattered the top of Robert's back and he was suddenly pressing his fingertips on them, and then kissing others.

Robert rolled his eyes, "Yeah don't remind me." He mumbled into his pillow, a little embarrassed.

Aaron tutted, moving even closer to Robert and smiling, "Oi, what do you mean?"

Robert pulled his head up and looked across at Aaron, his face lined with a little bit of worry that made his heart hurt a little. "I _hate_ 'em." He admitted, looking at Aaron's hand that was circling round a few freckles on his arm.

Aaron frowned hard, not quite believing that Robert hated any part of him. He wanted to say something about how vain Robert was and how he didn't believe him but then he saw the _look_ on Robert's face and it said it all.

"Well good thing..." Aaron leaned over to Robert, tugging him closer and staring deep into Robert's eyes, "I love them." He continued, kissing Robert softly on the lips.

Robert smiled, his heart thumping a little harder, "Yeah?" He rarely looked for reassurance but he couldn't help it now.

Aaron nodded his head slowly, "I love everything about ya." He whispered out, his eyes fixed onto Robert's and not able to do anything else but hover over his lover. He was almost frozen by his words, he didn't say stuff like that, not aloud anyway.

Robert gulped hard as Aaron finally pulled off of him and settled against him. "Thanks —"

"I'm tired, I should get some —" Aaron tried to interject, to forget what he had said and move on but Robert couldn't brush off such a thing. Not when Aaron had said it.

Robert rolled over to his side which forced Aaron to do the same, "That means everything to me you know." He let out slowly making Aaron blush, "Considering I feel the —"

Aaron shook his head hard, somehow hearing Robert say it was different —Robert with a wife and a ring on his finger but here now with someone who he claimed to actually _love_ , Aaron had heard it before, he had believed him — he still did. Yet hearing it though would be too tragic, especially considering Chrissie would be back in a few days and this would be all over.

"Alright soft lad. I said I want to sleep, stop chatting." Aaron said with a laugh and a hand playfully covering Robert's.

Robert shook free but hesitated, he _wanted_ to shower Aaron with love but something about Aaron's expression told him it was almost unnecessary. Robert told himself that was a good thing, that they had reached this unfamiliar level.

"Aaron but you _know_ I -"

Aaron nodded quickly, feeling guilty for stopping Robert and kissing him softly. "I'll _always_ know." He whispered, gentle, slow and enough to make Robert's heart melt into Aaron's, offering it to him as they lay there, limb over limb, _together_.


	4. The 'mate' discussion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is set during the Home Farm week again, lil bit bittersweet like a lot of them will be but I hope you like it.

"Ha I got you!" Aaron shouted, ignoring Robert's moans as he carried on blasting at Robert's soldier time and time again, knocking him towards the ground and smiling smugly as he saw the words **GAME OVER** appear on the screen.

Robert rolled his eyes and fell back onto the sofa in defeat, waving a hand up and sighing. "This time." He said slowly, his hair was messy and falling forward as he sat back a little and looked towards Aaron.

He looked so happy, nothing like the man Chas has described to him. He wasn't falling apart, he wasn't a wreck, he didn't seem tortured or troubled. He was actually smiling, a big one that filled the room and made Robert catch his breath a little.

"Want to get beaten again then mate?" Aaron asked, an eyebrow raised as he spoke.

Robert rolled his eyes, "There we go again with the _mate_ thing." He laughed out, trying not to sound bothered, failing.

Aaron bit down on his lip, draping an arm over Robert and pulling a face, "What would you like me to call ya?" He teased, a hand circling Robert's chest.

"Er Robert." Robert said dryly, making Aaron sigh and pull his hand off to punch Robert's arm lightly.

"What's the problem with me calling you mate, I call _everyone_ mate." Aaron frowned softly, he didn't understand why Robert didn't like it so much.

Robert waved a hand up, "Exactly, you call _everyone_ that. I'm not —"

"You're not just anyone." Aaron butted in, knowing what Robert was trying to say and getting it.

Robert blushed a little at the way it sounded coming from Aaron.

Aaron leaned a little closer to Robert, "You're _someone_ to me, someone special." Robert looked up at Aaron in shock, unsure where that had come from but not taking it for granted at all as he continued gazing in almost amazement, Aaron didn't say stuff like that.

Aaron was very much aware of how mushy he had sounded and pressed a quick kiss to Robert's lips, pulling away he smiled nervously, "But — I mean, we are — mates."

Robert's immediate response was a frown, he was confused because _no_ they weren't mates, mates didn't _love_ each other the way they did, they were _more_ than mates and to be honest he felt like Aaron downplayed what they were whenever he said the word. But then again, they had grown to become friends, close friends that could hang around on a sofa all day playing video games, mates who could tell each other things. He still didn't like it though, not when he longed to call Aaron something more than his _lover._

Aaron could see Robert thinking it through in his mind, "Then what are we?" He didn't mean to say that, he didn't mean for it to come out, but it did and now it was hanging in the air and making him feel sick.

What were they? They weren't boyfriends. Maybe lovers. Aaron shook his head a little at the thought of that, it sounded sleazy to him, _lovers_.

Robert gulped hard, pulling Aaron towards him and kissing him gently, "We're us, just you and me." It was pathetic, and he knew it wasn't what Aaron hoped to hear but somehow it had made Aaron smile, his eyes flicker the way they did when he was overwhelmed and Robert felt a bit better.

"Me and you." Aaron whispered into Robert, knowing that despite everything around them, nothing could break this bond they had when they were alone and in love and just _together_.


	5. The cold portacabin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one hasn't got a specific date but you can imagine it's before June/July 2015. Enjoy <3

Aaron was freezing, the scrapyard didn't have heating for some reason but Robert was there and soon they were 'forced' to warm themselves up in other ways considering Adam was out on a job.

"Jesus it's cold in here." Aaron mumbled out, rubbing his hands together quickly as he tugged on his hoodie.

Robert nodded in agreement, knowing that despite the sweat on his forehead and the blush on his cheeks from what they had just done, he was still shaking from the cold room. "Yeah, your mate needs to sort it out." Robert huffed out, thinking about how often Adam just disappeared and then leaning towards Aaron, smiling as he did so.

Aaron rolled his eyes, "Hm _or_ my hot shot _investor_ could _actually_ invest more than just a few measly grand into the place." He said, arching an eyebrow and then feeling Robert tug him in closer.

“Maybe he has better things to _invest_ in..." Robert whispered, kissing Aaron and holding him by the waist.

Aaron broke away as a shiver raced through him, "God _seriously_ Rob." He blew hot breath onto Robert's neck and made the older man tingle all over.

"Why do you want me to do?" Robert questioned, a hand falling onto Aaron's hair. "Buy a new state of the art heater?" He added, hating the fact that explaining the purchase to Lawrence fell the front of his mind first.

Aaron rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless, "Something like that." He scrunched up his nose they wanted usually did and it made Robert laugh.

"Aw is my little Aaron all cold and grumpy?" Robert asked playfully, moving forward to kiss Aaron's cheek and then pulling away again as he saw the way Aaron was looking at him.

Eyes a little wide, shocked at the words that came out of Robert's mouth, words that were unfamiliar —  _nice and loving and sickly sweet, my little Aaron._

Robert cleared his throat awkwardly, becoming aware of what he had said - aloud and then being almost thankful for the sight of Aaron tugging at the zip of his hoodie to pull it up further.

"You really aren't used to the cold then." Robert pointed out, "Stripping ya from your many layers leaves ya shaking like a leaf." He laughed out thinking about how eagerly he was chucking Aaron's big black jacket across the room when their bodies first crashed together.

Aaron rubbed his hands again and looked towards Robert through his eyelashes, "Yeah well, I better start wearing even _more_ , wouldn't you just love that." He said teasing Robert because he always complained about Aaron never showing off his ' _sexy_ body'. Aaron always rolled his eyes at that, secretly smiling about it though when Robert was out of sight.

Robert eyes widened at Aaron's words and pulled the younger man closer to him again, his eyes falling on Aaron's and then becoming lost in them all at once. "I can't _wait_ for summer then, you strolling around here with your arms out, those _muscles_ showing..." Robert mumbled into Aaron's neck letting out a little moan as he did so and making Aaron laugh, _actually laugh._

Aaron wrapped his arms around Robert for a few seconds and then titled his head back towards the ceiling, "Hm...I'm a little warmer now." He arched an eyebrow as if he was surprised, as if he didn't expect a few second being so close to Robert to stop him shaking the way he was. The thought comforted him deeply.

Robert smiled gently as he looked down at Aaron, "Funny that." He mumbled out without thinking.

"What?" Aaron asked up to Robert.

"People usually say I'm a cold person, it's nice to know I keep you warm." Robert whispered almost to himself as he said it, but then he saw Aaron pulling away and staring at him directly and he realised he had heard.

Aaron frowned, knowing that little things like that meant a lot to Robert for some reason. "Yeah well, you know now." He whispered before falling back on Robert, "And you're not a cold person." He said seriously, patting against Robert's chest to exaggerate his point.

Robert gulped hard and decided not to say anything else, he simply liked holding onto Aaron this way, arms stretched around the shorter man as they stood there in the freezing cabin.

The quiet moment was suddenly ruined by the sound of Robert's phone, it was Chrissie and Robert knew it before he even peaked down and saw. She was expecting him back now, probably texting and wondering where he was and if they were still meeting for lunch. The thought made Robert's stomach churn a little, he didn't want to leave this moment.

Aaron noticed Robert tense a little and pulled away to look up at him properly, "Do you have to go?" He asked, knowing the answer already.

Robert gulped hard and nodded his head in shame, "Yeah...yeah Aaron I'm sorry -" he tried to explain but Aaron was already shaking his head and telling him it was okay, meaning it.

Aaron shrugged his shoulders, rolling his head a little. "I'm warm now, it's fine." He whispered out, reassuring Robert almost that he didn't need him anymore.

Robert felt it, _heard_ it in Aaron's voice and suddenly he was launching at Aaron again and tugging him tightly, his arms frantically pulling the younger man into him and feeling him relax around him again before tensing.

"Rob, I mean it, I'm warm now — I don't need —"

Robert suddenly kissed Aaron's head, a gesture so loving it almost made Aaron melt. "Yeah well," Robert gulped hard, knowing that he didn't want to leave, almost couldn't. "Well I need you, I need ya to keep me warm too." He mumbled out shakily, meaning so much more than what he had actually said, meaning that he needed Aaron just as much as Aaron needed him, confessing to how _desperately_ he needed the blue eyed boy.

Aaron frowned at first to argue the point, to tell Robert that he didn't seem too bothered about the cold before but then he suddenly realised what Robert meant. He fell even deeper into Robert's arms then, now _too_ warm but not caring in the slightest.


	6. The deep doubt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is set around the time Donny came into the show and Robert started spending less time with Aaron. Enjoy! Xx

Aaron had enough of being forgotten, overlooked and ignored by someone who was supposed to _love_ him. It was eating away at everything in his life, seeing Robert with her - Chrissie, every day and then having to _settle_ for stolen looks between pints was driving him crazy.

  
"Have I done something wrong?" Robert asked, looking up at Aaron and instantly worrying.

  
He had arrived at the scrapyard with two coffees in hand and was met with the sort of glare that told him things weren't okay.

  
Aaron tensed, shaking his head a little because it was perfectly _clear_ that something was wrong.

  
"You could say that," Aaron replied bluntly, deciding not to even look up.

  
Robert's heart began to thud harder as he looked down at Aaron and felt guilty, he _knew_ he had been rubbish lately. "Aaron look I know -"

  
Aaron slammed down the pen in his hand and sighed, "Do you actually know who I am? Aaron. Livesy. You know the guy you sleep with from time to time." He was letting it all out, all the anger and pain he felt and Robert was taking it. He couldn't do anything else.

  
Robert pushed a hand out in front of him and sighed in defeat, "I know, I know I've been awful, I've been - been _shit_ but I - I'm -"

  
Aaron stood up then, his hand coming up to stop Robert. "You're _sorry_ , yeah." He butted in, sarcastically putting an end to whatever nonsense Robert was going to say next.

  
Aaron walked towards the door, turning the handle with force as Robert stood there, shaking all over because he _saw_ the _look_ in Aaron's eyes and just how fed up he was. How _close_ to ending things Aaron was, the thought made his heart race - beating faster and faster.

  
"Please don't go." Robert whispered, he didn't think Aaron had actually heard but then he saw him turning slowly, eyes wide because he had never heard Robert speak so honestly. He was so honest, vulnerable as if he was laying everything bare and waiting to see what Aaron would do next. Aaron instantly knew Robert wasn't referring to him going that day, he _knew_ he meant forever.

  
"What?" Aaron couldn't say anything else, he was too busy gazing at Robert, seeing the _look_ on his face and then the deep worry that he couldn't hide.

  
Robert bit down on his lip, he didn't want to cry but then the thought of Aaron ending things was something he just couldn't bare. "I know I've been awful Aaron but - but _please_ , please don't _leave_ me." Robert whispered out, tears filling his eyes and making him feel even worse.

  
Aaron shifted his weight a little, the door still open and sending a cool breeze through the office. They both were standing there silently shivering until Robert shook his head.

  
"I'm an idiot, an - an arsehole, but - but Aaron," Robert had to catch his breath as he moved towards Aaron and tried to compose himself, "I'll try better, I really will. I know, I know I don't deserve ya," Robert dropped his head, "But I _need_ ya, I really do." The words came out in a whisper, and suddenly a tear was falling innocently down Robert's cheek and Aaron was there, warm hands stopping the teardrop and rubbing at Robert's face lovingly.

  
Robert looked up instantly, he wasn't expecting that sort of gesture, he didn't deserve it.

  
"Aaron, please don't leave me, I couldn't handle it if you -"

  
Aaron moved a hand up to cup Robert's face, "Shh," he whispered, silencing Robert almost instantly and hearing only the sound of Robert trying desperately to hold back his tears. "I won't leave you." Aaron added seriously, "I couldn't." He said, looking down towards the floor and realising how true it was.

  
Robert sniffed gently, "But if you could..." He said sadly, it hurt to think that Aaron's love for him had almost _trapped_ the mechanic into this life.

  
Aaron looked up at him and frowned, " _No_ , no Robert, I've stuck around 'cos however stupid it sounds...I _want_ to be, I couldn't walk away from something that means so much to me Robert and _you_..." Robert's eyes widened in hope, "You mean the world."

  
Robert felt his heart almost explode, Aaron had been off with him for days now and suddenly he was saying all these things as if he actually meant them, stored them away and saved them for moments like this where Robert needed to know.

  
Robert shook his head hard, "I don't deserve this." He muttered out, biting down on his lip and turning away.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, almost thankful that Robert hadn't said something as equally _mushy_. "Yeah you don't." He said bluntly, crossing his arms over and sighing.

  
Robert's eyes flickered, "I meant it Aaron, I'm really going to try and be better - I _promise_." Robert was pleading and not caring how desperate he looked, it caught him by surprise, knowing that there was a time where he would have rather babysit Lachlan for the day then tell Aaron how he really felt. But now everything was just there, laid out for Aaron to hear, to know.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly and then smiled, "You better." He warned, pointing at Robert and then smiling again.

  
Robert's shoulders dropped as he felt himself calm down a little, "What are you doing tonight?" He asked making Aaron raise an eyebrow and shrug. "Well how about me and you get out of here, I'll treat you properly for once, fancy meal -"

  
Aaron pulled a face, "I don't want to be bought Robert." He was already tensing and Robert couldn't stand it.

  
"I didn't mean it like that - we can just drive out somewhere if you want, just you me and the smell of cow muck to keep us entertained." Robert said quickly making Aaron laugh.

  
"You're such a charmer, how could I resist _that_?" Aaron said, gasping playfully as he saw the worry fall from Robert's face.

  
Robert smiled nervously as he dared to hold Aaron's hand, "I just don't want to lose you Aaron." He admitted, again showing this vulnerable side that Aaron valued more than his cocky confident bravado.

  
Aaron nodded his head before leaning in to kiss Robert and smiling, "You won't, not ever." He whispered before feeling Robert fall into him and hold on tightly. Aaron was shocked at first but then nestled into Robert's neck, knowing that despite whatever laid ahead, neither him or Robert could be rid of their love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to do one like this because tbh I really do feel like this sort of scene could have been canon throughout the affair. Aaron getting angry and fed up and then Robert thinking the worst and blurting out how he would feel if things between them were over. Anyways, I hope you liked it lovlies <3


	7. The New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set on New Years Eve (2014) - I've convinced myself that this is canon by the way...

Robert felt lonely, surrounded by people and still he felt alone. It was New Year's Eve, he should have been happy standing there with a glass of cool champagne in his hand and his fiancé looking gorgeous, playing the perfect hostess - but he wasn't as happy as he wanted to be. He hadn't seen Aaron yet and he knew he couldn't until the next year rolled around.

The countdown was beginning to start and he was in his kitchen, away from the thrill of the fireworks and posh old men who were there for the free alcohol. A part of him was sulking, really sulking because Chrissie had basically ignored him the entire night and left him to 'mingle' on his own. A part of him was waiting, waiting for chrissie to come through the doors and say "I've been looking everywhere for you!" and kiss him and wish him a Happy New Year but he knew that wouldn't happen.

  
He knew as he listened to the countdown come to an end that his last thoughts of that year had centred around a moody mechanic, with blue eyes and a large rowdy family. _Aaron Aaron Aaron_. The thoughts made him feel odd, he didn't know whether it was a good or a bad thing for a few seconds until his brain kicked into gear and he reminded himself that it was definitely a _bad_ thing.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!" the fireworks went off one after another in quick succession not giving Robert the chance to actually admire any of them from the kitchen window. He could see Chrissie hugging Lawrence, a smile on her face and a glass of champagne in her hand and not a care in the world. It made him even angrier.

  
The sound of his phone going off made him frown, Victoria had already sent him a nice message a few minutes before explaining how she would probably be too drunk to say it any later than she did.

  
Robert pressed a thumb over his phone as he heart started pounding, Aaron.

 

** From Aaron: **

 

_\- Happy New Year then._

 

It was short but not sweet, Robert could tell that Aaron was still annoyed at him about not being able to meet up but he had taken the time out to actually text him. That had to mean _something_.

 

Robert bit down on his lip, knowing he had to text back, wanting to, needing to.

 

** To Aaron: **

 

_\- Happy New Year ---_

 

Robert sighed hard, he wanted to say more.

 

** To Aaron: **

 

_\- Happy New Year. I wish I was with you._

 

Send.

 

Robert's eyes widened in shock, it was too forward, too much all together and it almost sounded like he meant...a couple or something. _Shit_. The last thing he wanted to do was scare Aaron off.

 

Robert shook his head, feeling pathetic as he sent another quick text.

 

** To Aaron: **

 

_\- Tonight._

 

"Twat." Robert smacked the side of his head, annoyed.

 

** From Aaron: **

 

_\- Thought you were going to say 'this year' and be all cheesy._

 

Robert couldn't help but roll his eyes and smile, knowing that Aaron saw the funny side of his mistake.

 

** To Aaron: **

 

_\- I don't do cheesy. Seriously though, I could really do with a New Year's kiss right about now. I miss kissing you._

 

Robert waited for a few seconds, anticipation rising because he wasn't this open.

 

** From Aaron: **

 

_\- I miss you._

 

Robert wanted to hit himself, he hated how easily Aaron could have this _hold_ over him, three small words and he felt terrible.

 

I miss you.

 

Three small words and he felt this need to ditch this so called party and run into the pub just to _stop_ Aaron from _missing_ _him_.

He missed kissing Aaron and Aaron just missed _him_ , and that said it all. Aaron felt something more and Robert couldn't deny how _good_ that made him feel because he was able to admit to the same thing - _finally_.

 

** To Aaron: **

 

_\- I miss you too._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you're thinking so far my lovlies!


	8. The tie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one hasn't got a particular date attached but again you can imagine it's before the horror of the lodge. Also I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you all for the lovely words you leave at the end of every chapter that makes me so much more motivated to continue writing, it means the world!

Robert pressed kisses quickly up Aaron's chest before sinking down and rising again and again, teasing Aaron and loving every minute of it.

  
"Robert hurry the hell up, me mum's downstairs you know," Aaron panted out, quick to guide Robert's head back down to his groin.

  
Robert rolled his eyes, "So what?" He questioned, winking up at Aaron and then laughing as he saw how worried Aaron seem to feel about the possibility of Chas walking in on them, as if. "Fine, I'll be quick." Robert added, knowing that things would be very bad as she knew, "Really quick." He mumbled seductively before pulling at his own shirt and belt.

  
"Oi not _too_ quick." Aaron mumbled, a smile on his face as he pulled Robert towards him.

  
Robert's hands continued to wander up and down Aaron's torso until he leaned over towards Aaron's bedside table and blindly searched for lube.

  
Aaron frowned harshly as he felt Robert pull away a little, "Top - top draw." He panted out, turning towards Robert and moaning with pleasure as he was kissed on the neck.

  
Robert hurriedly pulled off of Aaron and pulled open the bottom draw, searching for the lube and then suddenly looking straight at his own tie lying there. He hadn't seen it for weeks, it was the burgundy one he had worn on Christmas Day, when all his longing for the mechanic had taken over everything.

  
"Is this my..." Robert said, pulling it out of the drawer and then looking back at a stunned Aaron.

  
"I said top drawer Robert, top draw." Aaron stuttered out nervously, a hand over his eyes in embarrassment.

  
Robert found the whole thing hilarious as he narrowed his eyes and felt the soft fabric in his hands, _definitely_ his.

  
"You know how long I've been looking for this?" Robert gasped, turning back to Aaron and slapping at his arm playfully.

  
Aaron squirmed, "Soz." He let out, his blush growing as he tried to clear his throat and nervously pulled himself up on the bed.

  
Robert shook his head, he wanted to know more and suddenly he was moving his body onto Aaron's and straddling him. "Is that all I get?" Robert teased, "No explanation as to why one of my _best_ ties is in your bottom drawer mister?" He added, almost getting lost in Aaron's eyes.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, knowing he would have to admit to his soppy antics, "I sorta...pinched it." He admitted awkwardly before seeing Robert's confusion as he tried to mentally work out when, "The night before you said...said Chrissie was coming home, I almost _knew_ I wouldn't be there the whole time, so I took it."

  
Robert frowned, "What as some sort of payback, have me searching for it?" He wondered, a hand reaching up to Aaron's chest and resting there.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, "Only you could think like that." He sighed hard, "No you idiot, to remember you, to keep you close you twat!"

  
Robert's eyes widened, a little piece of him was always with Aaron and that made him almost want to _cry_ , he didn't think Aaron did stuff like that.

  
"Aaron that's the -" Robert started before becoming almost lost for words as part he pressed into Aaron and kissed him hard in the lips.

  
"Don't worry I don't sleep with it next to me or out." Aaron said, saving face like always and shrugging his shoulders as if he wasn't emotional too.

  
Robert bit down on his lip and titled his head, "What do you do with it then?" He asked slowly, keeping Aaron's stare.

  
Aaron sighed hard, "Get lonely sometimes don't I. It's like you're here, with me." Robert let out a little smile. "It's stupid, I know." Aaron shook his head quickly, pulling away.

  
Robert gripped onto his face gently, forcing Aaron to look at him. "It's...it's the _sweetest_ thing you've ever said Aaron and it means everything. Everything to know that even though I'm not here, I'm still with ya." He hadn't realised how important it all seemed until he actually said it all aloud, Aaron really did _love_ him.

  
Aaron tried not to smile but failed, "I always want you here with me." He admitted, he felt almost selfish for saying it.

  
Robert sighed, feeling guilty suddenly for how alone he made Aaron feel sometimes, he didn't want that. " _Always_?" Robert teased, trying to make the air a little lighter.

  
Aaron smiled at that, knowing what he was trying to achieve and letting him. "Yeah, actually not always." He laughed out before the air grew silent again and Aaron picked up the tie from Robert's hand, "It always reminds me of you, I pick it up and think about that day."

  
Robert smiled at the memory as Aaron handed it back to him.

  
Robert frowned gently, "No keep it." Aaron looked up at him. "It's yours." Robert added with a smile and a shrug of the shoulders as if to say, _I'm yours_ but holding back. "I want you to have it." 

  
Aaron blushed but took the tie eagerly, playing with it in his hands as he smiled up at Robert, feeling as though Robert had willingly offered a bit of his heart and he had accepted it, _all_ of it.

 


	9. The night call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't set at a particular time, but it is after Robert made plans with Aaron and then went to the B&B with Chrissie instead (damn you Sugden!)

Aaron was drunk and lonely which meant he was calling Robert way past midnight just to speak to, to hear.

  
The phone rang for a few seconds before Aaron was able to smile and hear Robert's low husky voice filling his ears.

  
"Hello?" Robert said slowly, a hand rubbing over his eyes as he spoke.

  
"Rob! Robert, can you hear me?" Aaron said eagerly, the can of beer in his hand was dripping over his bed but he was too focused on Robert to care.

  
"Yeah of course I can, what's happened? Is there something wrong?" Robert's voice was laced with worry as he stood out on the landing, shivering from the cold surroundings and craving his bed again.

  
"Nothing, I was just - just missing you..." Aaron was an honest drunk, he knew he was and somehow the words just fell out.

  
Robert was stunned, frozen into place because he didn't think Aaron actually _missed_ him, not anymore.

  
"I always - I can't stop missing you, you know. I mean - I hate ya sometimes Robert." Aaron paused and sighed, looking towards the floor and then slurping the can of beer in his hand.

  
"Aaron, has something happened today or -" Robert said darkly, Aaron sounded desperate and _sad_ and it unsettled Robert instantly making him feel the same.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, "Yeah you could - could say that." He mumbled out, "I heard Kerry say - say that, that Dan shouldn't - shouldn't bottle up his feelings 'cos he'll end up like, like me. She said - said 'Aaron might have the looks but - but he dosen't let anyone in by the sounds of it' I mean, she made out as if I was a bloody unlovable." 

  
Robert gulped hard, he had said something a few weeks ago about Aaron being a cold person, being short and direct and telling him that's probably why he didn't have many mates. He didn't mean it, not really. They were arguing when it happened of course but the look on Aaron's face told Robert that it had _stuck_ immediately.

  
"Aaron that isn't true -" Robert offered, suddenly he wasn't craving his bed anymore, all he was craving was the need to make Aaron feel better about himself.

  
Aaron sniffed loudly, tears strolling down his face as he spoke. "Is that why you - you went with her, is that why you was with your wife that night and not me?"

  
Robert froze again, a few days ago Aaron had _seen_ him and Chrissie laughing and joking as they went inside the B &B and have a cosy meal, after promising a night away with Aaron. It hadn't meant to be like that, it hadn't meant to end up with Aaron being lonely and forgotten,  _yet_ it had.

  
"Aaron I've tried explaining what that was about, how I couldn't get out of it but you didn't want to -"

  
Aaron rubbed a hand over his face, sniffing a little softer and trying not to sound too pathetic. "Robert, say it again." It was simple, clear, precise and Robert knew instantly what he meant.

  
"I love you." Robert whispered, not because Chrissie was a few feet away but because in that moment he needed only Aaron to hear it all, _only_ Aaron was worthy of knowing that sort of love Robert could give.

  
Aaron sighed hard, he believed it _still_.

  
"Aaron you let me in, remember? Time and time again, _you let me in ._.." Robert whispered, almost chocking on his words because sometimes the fact that Aaron exposed himself and his love, hit him harder than he ever thought possible.

  
Aaron sniffed, his head against his wall. "I don't regret how much I fucking love ya," it poured out quickly leaving Robert with a weak smile on his face, shocked by the raw emotion behind the words.

  
Aaron shook his head, "I really do Robert, I - I don't show it sometimes," Aaron dropped his head, "You don't deserve it sometimes..."

  
"I know that." Robert interjected quickly, knowing Aaron was right. "I don't deserve any of ya."

  
Aaron tutted, "You - you deserve this messed up drunk idiot."

  
"I _love_ this messed up drunk idiot, I love him more than he'll ever know." Robert hadn't meant to be so emotional, so raw with his words but he couldn't help it.

  
Aaron sniffed again, he didn't expect that but it was welcomed, deep down it was all welcomed. "He loves you too, and - and if things were different he'd -" Aaron stopped himself, eyes wide and alcohol taking its full effect as ideas began popping into his head, ideas he has buried deep down.

  
Robert smiled, "He'd what?" He asked, genuinely curious.

  
"He'd marry ya tomorrow mate - and have your babies." Aaron chocked back a laugh, covering his mouth and then feeling sick. Word vomit, _fuck_ word vomit.

  
Robert almost gasped, shaking his head and trying to stop the way his heart was thumping because this was Aaron. _Aaron - and he was being silly and playful and loving -_ it was enough to melt Robert's heart.

  
"Shit I'm drunk." Aaron slapped himself on the forehead and let out a little laugh.

  
"Yeah. Yeah you must be," Robert whispered, a grin now forming on his face as he leaned against the wall, "Didn't know this is what drunk Aaron was like? Dreaming of weddings and children with me..." He added nervously.

  
Aaron cleared his throat, "Don't - don't flatter yourself mate, like I said I'm -"

  
"Drunk yeah I know." Robert said flatly, "I wish you weren't." He added, unsure about what he meant by the words. Did he really wish Aaron wanted that with him? Yes. No. No of course not. _Yes_.

  
Aaron cleared his throat, "I should get some sleep..." He whispered, sliding down onto his bed, "Thanks for - for listening to me talk shit. You, you're a good person Robert Sugden..."

  
Robert felt almost overwhelmed with this love Aaron had for him, love he didn't know still existed. "So are you," he mumbled out before giving himself the chance to catch his breath and hear Aaron breathing slowly against the phone, "Now go to sleep." He almost ordered making Aaron chuckle.

  
"Once more Rob..." Aaron let out, hoping Robert understood what he was trying to say.

  
Robert smiled, eyes fluttering, "I love you Aaron."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This wasn't isn't the fluffiest but I wanted to include it because I really feel like during the affair Aaron would have constantly looked for love when it came to Robert considering how he was treated sometimes. Anywho let me know if you liked it, and if you thought it was soppy or just a lil depressing lol. I wanted it to be bittersweet 'aw those soft lads' sorta thing lol!


	10. The bad day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during the Home Farm week! Xx

Aaron was having a bad day, his mum was on his case about Robert, making snide comments and telling him how messed up his life was becoming because of the Sugden. It hurt, knowing that his mum would never see the gentle kind side of the man he loved whole heartedly. A part of Aaron wanted to prove a point and stay at home instead of going over to Home Farm like he had done the night before, taking advantage of the fact that Chrissie was away.

  
He did though, the want for Robert made him go just like always and he couldn't deny how badly he needed him when he felt this _low_.

  
"I didn't think you'd come." Robert had a smile on his face, a nervous one though that told Aaron he had been worried.

  
Aaron shrugged a little and fell into the house, a hand gripping onto the little bag that he had packed again as he moved awkwardly into the living room. His mother's words bounced around his head as he sat there, taking it all in as he saw the pictures of Chrissie and Robert that made him feel sick. He couldn't deny how bad he felt about what he felt sometimes, what he was ruining.

  
"Is everything alright?" Robert knew something was, Aaron had hardly said a word since he came through the door and instantly he was thinking about him running again, wondering if he had pushed himself _too_ far.

  
Aaron looked towards Robert and shook his head, "Not really no." He whispered out, biting down on his lip and sighing, "It's just my mum going on. Making me feel bad, making you out to be some sort of -"

  
"Prick who took advantage of her son." Robert interjected, he knew how Chas' mind operated and the thought of her making Aaron feel horrible for loving someone made him ache all over.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, "Yeah pretty much." He titled his head and suddenly there were tears in his eyes, "I don't want to feel bad about loving you." He let out worriedly, his breathing a little harder as he let his emotions out all at once.

  
Robert moved towards Aaron and pulled him close, "Shh." He mumbled out, his own heart breaking for Aaron because he hadn't realised just how hard this was for him, hearing Chas and Paddy tell him he was a fool for being in love. Robert couldn't help but feel grateful, realising that despite all the warnings, Aaron _still_ showed up at his door. Willing to love Robert and be loved by him.

  
"Please done cry," Robert pleaded as Aaron buried his head into his chest and carried on sobbing, he was a mess now because all he could think about was how badly he wanted to be able to love Robert without feeling bad about it at all.

  
Aaron lifted his head and looked up at Robert, "Do you love _me_?" He asked, as if he hadn't heard it before.

  
Robert gulped hard, eyes fluttering softly as he looked at Aaron. A part of him knew that saying yes would break Aaron that little bit more and make him question why they couldn't be together, but he couldn't lie, he couldn't say no. "Of course I do, Aaron I _love_ you too." He whispered, knowing that Aaron hadn't said it since that day but practically voiced it every minute they were together.

  
Aaron nodded his head, taking it in as he kissed Robert tenderly. "I want you, I want you Robert - I'm not afraid and I don't feel bad about it, I can't because I want you and I don't care anymore," he was panting as he spoke, saying the words in between soft kisses and making Robert feel weak, "I just - want you."

  
Robert gulped as he moved onto Aaron and kissed his neck, "I want you too, fuck Aaron you'll never know how much - I want you, I _need_ ya." He pleaded before breaking away and seeing that Aaron had become overwhelmed with tears again, falling messily down his face.

  
Aaron couldn't stop the tears, hearing how much Robert wanted him hurt considering what they were and what they couldn't be. "Then why -" he stopped himself, he had to because if he carried on then things would turn into an argument.

  
Robert knew what he was trying to say and instantly tensed, if he carried on then how could he explain why they couldn't be together. He needed Chrissie. He needed what she gave him more.

  
Aaron shook his head against Robert's and sighed, "I'm sorry...I've just had a bad day s'all." He admitted, feeling bad for making this all dreary and not romantic at all. "I'm sorry."

  
Robert pulled Aaron even closer and kissed his head, "Don't be sorry."

  
"I'm ruining things, this time we have together - I'm sorry -"

  
"What did I just say?" Robert asked before getting up and pulling Aaron's arms to join him, "Let's go..." He mumbled softly, "You look exhausted."

  
Aaron rubbed his hands over his face and fought back a yawn, "Blame Adam." He said bluntly thinking about how he had to work alone that day because Adam had booked the day off.

  
Robert laughed at that as he held out his hand and led Aaron towards his bedroom. As he opened the door, Aaron's head dropped a little and Robert moved quickly to start taking off his hoodie and then his jeans.

  
"Go on, get in." Robert whispered, kissing Aaron's ear lovingly and then pulling open the covers so that Aaron could slip inside.

  
Aaron raised an eyebrow in surprise as he felt Robert's arms pull him into this protective hug, the night before had been passionate and raw and filled with rounds of sex but this was _different_. This was loving and tender and _normal_ for any old couple.

  
Aaron turned to face Robert, he couldn't deny how tired he was but felt this need to please Robert the best way he could, pressing kisses to his chest usually did the trick. Robert let out a little moan before taking Aaron's hand and kissing them as he pushed them off, "You're tired." He stated, knowing Aaron wasn't up for anything but sleeping in that bed.

  
Aaron nodded his head in agreement, "Yeah but you're not, you're tell me you're quite happy just _sleeping_ in this bed before it's even eleven o'clock?"

  
Robert scoffed a little and smiled, pulling Aaron towards him and kissing his nose, "You're here. With me. I'm more than just 'quite happy' Aaron." He whispered softly, rubbing their noses together as he spoke.

  
Aaron shook his head and sighed, "I'm sorry." He mumbled out again, not really believing that this was what Robert had planned and feeling bad.

  
"For what Aaron? Coming here even though you've been told to stay well clear day after day?"

  
"I come here a mess, I cry, I'm too tried for sex, why would you even want me here -"

  
"I love you Aaron." Robert was flawed by how badly Aaron didn't understand that yet, he felt bad for making Aaron not know how deep those feelings ran now.

  
Aaron's eyes widened as he looked at Robert, seeing how honest he was being.

  
"That's why. And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else but right here, with you tonight." Robert wasn't usually so open, so romantic and tender but now he was, he was kissing Aaron again and pulling the blankets over his lover, making him feel loved and proving to the younger man that Robert _did_ love him. He loved him more than Aaron allowed himself to know.


	11. The night of little sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii, this one is short and not the best but it's set in Home Farm work just so you know.

Aaron was sure Robert was a little tipsy as they stumbled into bed, they had been enjoying themselves at lot that night, drinking and talking and being _normal_. Robert had drank more then Aaron, pulling out the bottles of wine to try and impress the younger man and failing as he did so. He drank a few glasses though, and then a few more.

  
Aaron was almost asleep by the time his head hit the pillow and despite the need he had for Robert he couldn't think about sex when he could barely keep his eyes open.

  
Robert lifted himself up on the bed, pushing down on the sheets as he looked towards Aaron. Aaron who was staying the night, Aaron who had listened to him talk for hours about nonsense, Aaron who loved him.

  
He was a beautiful sight and suddenly Robert couldn't keep his hands off him. Nothing inappropriate or sexual though, just his tipsy hands falling onto Aaron's face and disturbing his sleep.

  
Aaron felt Robert's huge hands cover his face and he let out a little moan, "Rob what - shh let's go sleep.." He muffled into his pillow, knowing that when Robert was like this he wouldn't be getting sleep anytime soon.

  
Robert nodded his head and kissed Aaron on the nose, and then the forehead, "Aaron!" He whispered loudly as he saw that the younger man was trying his best to ignore him.

  
Aaron's eyes fell open as he looked up at Robert, "What Rob?" He asked slowly.

  
Robert leaned into Aaron so that their faces were inches apart, "I really really love you."

  
Aaron scoffed, couldn't help it as he realised that Robert was definitely _drunk_ now. His eyes were wide open and fully focused on Aaron as if he was intent on letting the blue eyed boy know how he felt right that minute.

  
Aaron softened at the words and raised a hand up to stroke Robert's face lovingly, "Yeah I know blondie." He whispered out before kissing Robert's hand and shutting his eyes again.

  
Robert was still in that silly drunk mood a few minutes later and Aaron could feel the older man moved around him, his fingers tapping lightly over Aaron's skin as he tried to sleep.

  
"Robert -" Aaron started and then suddenly he felt Robert edge closer and start tickling him, at first Aaron tried his hardest to fight it but then he was crying out for Robert to stop and then bursting out laughing.

  
Robert pulled away instantly as he heard it and it startled Aaron somewhat.

  
"What?" Aaron asked, wondering why Robert was smiling at him the way he was.

  
Robert's mouth was a little open as he stared at Aaron and then gulped hard, "I've never heard you laugh like that." He realised, cupping Aaron's face as they sat on the bed, "It's fucking beautiful, you're - you're so amazing Aaron." 

  
Aaron rolled his head back and smiled, "Yeah so are you." He mumbled, kissing Robert lightly on the head as he dragged their bodies down again, "You need to get some sleep." He said, patting down on Robert's back and then rubbing it softly.

  
Robert nuzzled his head into Aaron's back and kissed him over and over again making Aaron almost burst with love. "Sometimes I just want to never stop kissing you." Robert admitted, the words rolling off his tongue with such ease it made Aaron blush and then tentatively nod his head in agreement.

   
"Robert _sleep_ ," Aaron demanded with no seriousness behind his words as he felt Robert's hands reach his sides and start another tickling attack.

  
" _Robert_ I mean it." Aaron let out in a laugh, turning towards Robert as he wriggled away from the older man and smiled.

  
He loved Robert like this, a smile on his face and hair floppy and not caring about anything material at all, just focusing on the here and now.

  
Robert caught his breath as he ran a hand through Aaron's hair, "I wish I could make you laugh like that everyday, every _single_ day." He mumbled out, smiley and finally showing signs of some tiredness as he yawned after.

  
Aaron smiled softly, "You do alright." He offered, kissing the top of Robert's noes, "Now sleep Sugden." He said, a little more seriously than before.

  
Robert nodded his head obediently, shutting his eyes so that Aaron could mirror him, drifting off into a sound sleep.

 

***

 

Robert opened his eyes a few hours later, Aaron was still by his side and he smiled as he looked down and saw how peaceful the younger man looked. He had been dreaming, Aaron and him were in this small little cottage and he was doing what he had done just a few hours before - making Aaron laugh, _really_ laugh and the sound had filled him with such a warm and fuzzy feeling. The whole thing made him want to keep on making Aaron laugh forever.

  
"Forever Aaron, I promise to keep making you laugh forever - do you hear me?" Robert leaned in close to Aaron's ear as he said the words and then pulled away, knowing despite the fact that he was drunk, he still meant the words. He still wanted Aaron to hear them too.

  
Aaron let out a little smile as he felt Robert slouch back down on the bed, mumbling the word 'forever' as he drifted back off.

  
Aaron had heard it and he wanted nothing less than _forever_.


	12. The unexpected congratulations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is set during the time Donny was all lurking about. It was one of my favourites to write too so I hope you enjoy it! <33

Robert was in the pub when Aaron walked in, a beer in his hand and Lawrence patting him on the back like he was a good little boy, it was laughable when he thought about it. When he thought back to what Robert really thought about Lawrence White, 'a pompous old man with more money to spare than sense'.

  
Victoria appeared from the back with a bottle of champagne inside a bucket of ice in her hand, her face practically beaming.

  
"Who's that for then?" Aaron wondered, a part of him almost knowing that the only person flashy enough to order champagne on a Tuesday afternoon was Mr Robert Sugden.

  
"Rob." Victoria said settling the bucket on the bar as she spoke to Aaron and then looked over at her brother proudly, almost forcing Aaron to do the same.

  
Their eyes met instantly, he was wearing one of those pale blue shirts and had a twinkle in his eye that made Aaron know that he was happy, until they started to flicker and he knew he wasn't happy _enough_. He never was.

  
"Right, any occasion or is he just being a show off." Aaron sighed out, trying not to sound the least bit bothered.

  
Victoria rolled her eyes and tutted, obviously unimpressed but still leaned forward nonetheless. "Apparently he finally landed a deal with some hot shot who wouldn't give even Lawrence the time of day, Mr. Moore or something like that I think." Victoria blabbed away, hands moving round as she spoke.

  
Aaron couldn't help but smile, he was already thinking back to a few weeks ago. Robert had been complaining about how no clients took him seriously and Aaron was on hand to help reassure him a little.

  
( Robert looked down at his phone, titling his head a little as he stared.

  
"Boring ya am I?" Aaron asked bluntly. They were meant to be having lunch together, considering Adam was on a call out and the scrapyard was there's for a few hours, but Robert seemed to be interested in something else.

  
Robert pulled his head up, "No, sorry. I'm just...I'm waiting on a difficult client to sign this deal with us. _Mr. Moore._ He's really taking the mick." He sighed out, "He just isn't taking me seriously, just keeps asking for new deals like I'm going to just give it to him -"

  
Aaron pulled a hand onto Robert's shoulder and relaxed it instantly, "Hey it'll work out." He said sincerely, punching at Robert's shoulder the way he always seemed to do.

  
Robert lifted his head up and squinted a little, "You don't know that." He said, sounding innocent and almost vulnerable.

  
Aaron frowned, "Yeah I do." He said slowly as he leaned a little closer into Robert. "You're a great businessman and they're lucky to have ya." He added, this need to be there for Robert had increased recently, he didn't know if it was because Robert seemed to be already quite insecure over the return of Donny or not.

  
Robert seemed genuinely touched by that and kissed Aaron, his hand moving to cup the back of Aaron's neck, "I'm lucky to have you." He pointed out with a small smile on his face.

  
Aaron gulped hard, all this mush was making his stomach churn a little, he would probably start crying soon. "Yeah yeah." He said, shutting down the loving atmosphere quickly and turning back to the car he was meant to be working on. "Besides, no one can resit ya for too long." He said with a shrug of the shoulders and a wink that made Robert laugh. ) 

  
Aaron pulled himself away from the memory and nodded his head, "Good for him." Aaron raised his glass as if to congratulate Robert and Victoria smiled as she picked up the bucket again.

  
"I knew he'd do it." Victoria spoke proudly as she walked towards her brother.

  
Aaron was left smiling to himself, one thought circling his mind as he stood there watching Robert smile from afar, _so did I._

 

***

 

Robert approached the scrapyard later that day and found it empty, the cans in his hand looked that little more lonely as he realised that he wouldn't be sharing a few with Aaron and celebrating his deal. A part of him wondered if Aaron actually cared but then he thought back to the pub, he could have _sworn_ he saw Aaron smile when Victoria was speaking to him.

  
Robert approached his desk and then turned to sit on Aaron's chair instead like he usually did when he was working alone, it was like an instinctual thing he had now, anything to be closer to Aaron he thought.

  
As he sat down slowly he looked back towards his own desk and realised he had some paper work to file. Robert rolled his eyes as he stretched over and began pulling the papers towards him in a heap, looking through them and then suddenly frowning as he saw a bright blue envelope in amongst the work.

  
Robert pulled it out carefully, seeing his name on the envelope and bold letters that had been underlined hastily as he began opening it up. His eyes suddenly widened as he read the front of the card.

  
**_CONGRATULATIONS._ **

  
It was vague and took Robert a few seconds to realise that it was probably about him signing the deal with Mr. Moore, but Chrissie didn't seem that bothered when he told her about her, she had said well done and kissed him on the cheek and then disappeared again into her office. Maybe she had felt guilty and bought him a little card.

  
Robert opened up the card and suddenly his heart rate increased dramatically as he read it:

 

_Robert,_

 

_I knew you could do it and I told you it would all work out. Let's hope this makes you realise that I'm always right._

 

_All my love, Aaron. Xx_

 

_P.s. Yeah, I'm a little bit proud of you but don't let it go to your head, it's already big enough._

 

Robert re-read the card three times before putting it down, his hands were almost shaking as he thought about Aaron actually taking the time out to get a card and write _nice_ words in it. Aaron usually couldn't manage more than a few syllables when texting but had somehow been able to write a p.s part in a card. It made Robert's heart almost _ache_ with love for him, knowing that Aaron _knew_ how important it all was to him and how hard he had worked for it all.

 

Aaron just 'got it' when no one else seemed to, not even his _wife_.

 

Robert couldn't stop smiling as he looked at it again, stroking his thumb over the words and becoming overwhelmed slightly, the thought of Aaron being _proud_ of him, despite all he had done in the past, made his eyes fill with tears.

 

_All my love, Aaron._ Robert held it towards his chest, not caring how soft he looked.

 

_**All my love, Aaron.** _

 

"All of it."


	13. The toothbrushes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short lil fluffy one set during that epic week of Home Farm that we never got to really see enough of.

It was so small and quick that anyone else would have completely missed it, but Robert didn't.

  
He watched as he saw Aaron delicately place his toothbrush next to Robert's and then just stand there for a few seconds smiling at the way his light blue one complemented Robert's dark blue coloured one. They looked well together.

  
Aaron's hand reached out and twirled his toothbrush around playfully, he couldn't stop the way he was smiling now, how wide and happy he was because it almost felt like he was _with_ Robert. Just him and Robert. There wasn't a sign of Chrissie around, not even the whiff of her perfume or the trace of her jewellery and Aaron was just allowing himself to fully _imagine_ what it would be like if she wasn't around at all.

  
The sound of Robert clearing his throat caught Aaron's attention and made him blush.

  
"You coming to bed or...?" Robert whispered out, running a hand through his hair as he spoke and then looking towards Aaron.

  
Aaron nodded his head, looking back at the toothbrush's and then up at Robert who had edged closer to him. "Thank you." It was blurted out and Robert frowned as he tried to gather what Aaron meant.

  
"For what?" Robert asked, his head titled to the side as he spoke.

  
Aaron gulped, he didn't know why the sight of his toothbrush next to Robert's had caused him to react the way he did but suddenly there were tears in his eyes.

  
"I dunno." Aaron mumbled, with a shrug of the shoulders.

  
Robert tutted playfully and pulled Aaron into a slow kick, allowing himself to fully wrap his arms around the younger man and hold onto him tightly.

 

***

 

Aaron thought about it as he was laying next to Robert that night, he couldn't _stop_ thinking about how good it felt to imagine being Robert's, only his. It made him feel needed somehow.

  
Aaron turned towards Robert and pressed a kiss to his shoulder that made Robert's eyes flutter open.

  
"I'm sorry - I didn't mean to wake -"

  
Robert rubbed at his eyes and let out a sleepy smile, "Don't worry..." He mumbled, reaching across and kiss Aaron's head before settling again.

  
Aaron bit down on his lip, unable to look away from the beautiful sight of Robert. "Robert..." He whispered softly, eyes a little wide.

  
"Hmm..."

  
Aaron gulped, a hand coming up to stroke Robert's bare chest. "What I said earlier - you know when I thanked you and, and you asked what for." Aaron looked towards the bathroom and smiled. "It was for making me feel like I _belong_." He added with a whisper, loud enough though for Robert's eyes to spring open again and turn to Aaron lovingly.

  
Aaron dropped his head shyly, "You know - doesn't matter how long for, but you do, you make me feel like -" _like I belong, like I belong with you._

  
Robert pushed himself towards Aaron and little more, burying his head into Aaron's chest as he kissed him tenderly and then looked back up at Aaron. "You know where you really belong?" Robert whispered.

  
Aaron frowned a little and then suddenly Robert was pointing towards his own chest and whispering "In here." It was so cheesy, it was enough to make Aaron recoil in cringe and smack out playfully in protest.

  
"Oi! I'm trying to be all honest and kind here you know." Robert exclaimed, suddenly a little more alive.

  
Aaron let out a little laugh, trying to ignore the way it tugged at his heart strings and _mattered_ so much, but then he caught sight of Robert in the moonlight and he had to catch his breath and nod. "I know you are." He mumbled back, "Soft lad." He added, making Robert look away a little shyly.

  
Aaron pulled onto Robert's arm, bringing him back suddenly and then kissing him tenderly, " _My_ soft lad though." He whispered making Robert look a little brighter as he pulled a hand up to cup Aaron's face, "Stubbornly _all_ yours I'm afraid." Robert said with a wink.

  
It made Aaron laugh, it made him wish it was true and then he felt sad that it wasn't. But then he was back to smiling, because in that moment he had Robert, he had _all_ of Robert and regardless of what would happen the next day or the day after that - he _still_ had Robert. It didn't matter if he didn't have Robert by his side each night, that didn't matter when he had his heart. 

  
_Stubbornly all yours._

  
"All mine."

 


	14. The hospital visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one isn't the fluffiest, tbh it's a lil sad and resolves around Aaron's self harming issues but I still wanted to write it because I will forever be bitter about the whole 'I'm getting a takeaway' comment from Robert as a follow up to how worried he was about Aaron the day before like honestly I wanted a least a little "you had me worried" or something. 
> 
> Anyways this is straight after Robert tells the hitman (fitman) that the deal is off.

  
It all happened too quickly, seeing Aaron laying there, _cold_ and _shivering_ and _broken_ and then suddenly he was taken away and Robert had his mother to contend with. Robert hated himself for what nearly happened, what he had _just_ stopped from happening. His legs were still shaking, thankful he was rid of the dirty money that almost stained his hands as he passed it over to the hitman. He couldn't go home. Not in this state, not when he was this scared and still shaken about the _monster_ he could have become if he allowed it to happen. But he didn't. That was something that he was holding onto, the fact that in the end just like always, he _couldn't_ do the things that made him evil and cunning and _devilish_. There was always a part of him that held back, this time he hated to admit that it had more to do with Aaron then his own moral compass being in check.

Merely the thought of Aaron being robbed of a mum was enough to make him panic and tremble with fear, he _knew_ what that felt like - how broken it left prices of a person when a mother wasn't around. He couldn't do that to Aaron, in the end - he couldn't hurt Aaron in the slightest.

 

***

 

Robert opened the hospital door slowly, peering inside and watching as Aaron slept soundly, the few cuts on his face were making Robert's stomach flip because it all just reminded him of what a state Aaron had been left in. How tortured Aaron must have been to _self_ harm in a way so cruel and hard hitting.

  
Robert settled on the chair, his hands were still shaking and he wondered how he was able to sneak through to see Aaron without anyone asking questions. A nurse walked by the room, and then broke into a jog and Robert realised they were probably too busy to care and had already seen Robert a few hours earlier.

  
Robert gulped as he watched Aaron, his face rid of that stubborn frown and those tired eyes that made Robert feel _guilty_ , he looked so at peace. Robert slowly moved a hand over to hold Aaron's and rested it there, squeezing tightly and then suddenly blowing at a slow breath as he felt tears fill his eyes. A few hours ago he hadn't done this, he had been angry at Aaron for hurting himself, angry at Chas for threatening him and despite how badly he wanted to grab hold of Aaron and not let him go again, he hadn't. Robert had been Robert, the Robert everyone else saw, cold, sharp, cool and Aaron had just accepted it, he didn't have much choice in the matter.

  
Aaron stirred a little in his bed and then opened his eyes wide as he looked down and saw Robert holding his head, for a few seconds he thought he was dreaming but then Robert cleared his throat and caught his attention.

  
"Hi." Robert whispered, the tears in his eyes were still there and he hated how soft and vulnerable he looked in the face of Aaron, the man laying in a hospital bed who had a thousand percent more strength than Robert could ever dream of.

  
Aaron frowned, "What are you doing here?" He asked, removing his hand from Robert's and trying to sit up in bed.

  
Robert moved quickly, a hand reaching out and helping Aaron as he pushed his pillow up and shifted his weight. Robert stayed silent for a few seconds, unsure how to actually answer that question, he had come because he felt he had to be near Aaron, he had come because the thought of laying next to Chrissie made him feel even worse. 

  
"I wanted to see ya." Robert settled for after another few seconds.

  
Aaron shook his head, unconvinced. "Yeah you did that a few hours ago, enjoyed your takeaway?" He couldn't help but be bitter, _yes_ he had accepted that he was nothing more than a bit on the side but that didn't mean he was _happy_ with the truth.

  
Robert bit down on his lip and sighed, his eyes moving towards the floor in shame. He had been so _cold_ before, he hadn't even asked how Aaron was properly. It was all so rushed, everything was rushed.

  
"Don't -" Robert started but then suddenly Aaron was breathing heavy and obviously becoming worked up.

  
"Don't what? Be a little bit pissed off that all you could say was that I couldn't be trusted, after I spent a night in the _freezing_ cold -"

  
"Don't ever do that to me again." Robert breathed out, Aaron's words had quickly become a blur and he had to hold on to what he was originally trying to let out. His voice was croaky and some tears had rudely began to expose all his emotions at once, making him look even more pathetic.

  
Aaron was stunned, fighting back his own tears as he looked down at Robert who now had his head in his hands and was crying even softer.

  
"I thought - when I saw ya, I thought - I thought you were _dead_ , it would have been _my_ fault." Robert raised his head and pointed towards his chest forcibly, " _Mine_." He exaggerated, his eyes almost bloodshot.

  
Aaron shifted his weight again and then gestured for Robert to sit on the bed with him, "Stop saying that." Aaron muttered out, he kept thinking about what would have happened if he wasn't found, would he have died?

  
Robert sighed hard, he could feel Aaron's hand stroking his arm and it was beginning to settle him, "I can't, I _can't_ Aaron 'cos you could have -"

  
"Died I know." Aaron said bluntly, shrugging his shoulders a little and then biting down on his lip to try and stop himself from crying, "But I didn't give up, 'cos you kept me going." He added, a tear rolling down his face as he spoke.

  
Robert pulled back a little so he could look into Aaron's eyes and suddenly he was completely flawed by his words, "Me?" He asked astonished, his hands shaking.

  
A part of him wanted to say 'no, no you deserve so much better than to keep fighting for me' but he couldn't.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly and sighed, "Sometimes...it's like you're all I've got." He said darkly, biting down on his lip and feeling the tears roll down his face, one by one.

  
Robert's breath became shaky as suddenly he found himself pulling Aaron towards him and kissing him over and over again, _neck, hair, cheek..._

  
"I'm so sorry, I'm _so_ sorry Aaron." Robert whispered out as he pulled away again, making sure their hands were still intwined, "I let ya down."

  
Aaron shook his head but allowed Robert to continue.

  
"I'm a bad person Aaron," Aaron raised his head as if to suggest other wise but Robert silenced him, "You're the good in me, you know that? The _only_ truly, truly good thing." He whispered, knowing that although Chrissie wasn't a _bad_ person, she wasn't like Aaron - few people were.

  
"That isn't true." Aaron tried to point out, "Robert -"

  
"I made you do this, I made you _hurt_ yourself to cope." Robert said, looking away from Aaron - ashamed.

  
"No one made me do this, I did it. Me. Not you." Aaron said seriously, "I've only got myself to blame for this."

  
Robert shook his head and sighed as he looked towards Aaron's leg, "Aaron I need ya to, to _promise_ me you'll never do this again, I'm here Aaron, I'll help ya before you got to this point." He said, trying his hardest not to cry again.

  
Aaron nodded his head slowly, "Yeah." He said softly, grabbing hold of Robert's shaking hand.

  
"The thought of losing you now..." Robert breathed out, his voice still trembling with fear because he had admitted aloud he loved Aaron and he _did_ , the intensity at a level that scared him deeply because when things like this happened he wasn't able to control and rationalise anything - his love for Aaron threw him time and time again.

  
"Stop Rob, I'm fine."

  
"You're not though, look at ya." Robert said looking down towards Aaron's leg again and shaking his head.

  
"I am in here." Aaron pointed towards his head, "And that means so much more, trust me." He added seriously.

  
Robert nodded his head, he believed him but still there was a level of fear there that he didn't think would ever fade. Robert reached down and gently grabbed onto Aaron's hand, kissing them slowly and almost inhaling Aaron, all of him.

  
"I meant it Aaron." Robert said, knowing Aaron would understand what he meant, he knew he would understand that he meant he loved him that day, that nothing had changed since.

  
Aaron nodded, eyes flickering with tears. "I meant it too." He whispered back.


	15. The birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I haven't forgotten about these lil mini fics! This one is set on Robert's birthday and sticks to canon pretty much, enjoy and let me know what you think <3

Chrissie had been amazing, she had bought him this expensive watch and showered him with love, making him feel special and wanted. It hurt to think her smile that day had been more for Donny's benefit instead of his own though.

Chrissie had taken him to the pub, and Robert hated how his first thought has turned to Aaron, he hadn't heard from him at all. A part of him almost expected to wake up with a message from the scrapper, nothing big or loving but at least _something_. It ached when he only saw messages from Diane and Victoria.

Robert felt even worse when he realised that Aaron was no where to be seen, he wasn't doing his usual moody glare, pint in hand stance that Robert secretly adored. Instead he was met with a cold stare from Chas and the company of the Whites.

 

\- -

 

Robert had a cake, Victoria had messily iced it herself and he had shut his eyes firmly when he was making a wish, feeling like a four year old as he desperately hoped to see his best friend. Aaron of course had turned into just that hadn't he? A best friend, someone Robert could talk to, laugh with, protect and need whenever he felt alone.

 

\- - 

 

Chrissie had her arm around Robert as they left the pub and he kissed her softly as they approached the car, as Robert pulled away he saw _him_ standing there. He didn't even look that fazed but Robert knew that as Aaron turned away he _was_. Their eyes had met for the briefest of seconds but Robert had already seen enough to _know_. Robert's head pounded because suddenly he was thinking about the possibility of Aaron walking towards him, soft face and card in hand but he had ruined that now and Aaron was out of sight before he had the chance to do anything.

 

\- - 

 

It was half five, Robert was staring down at his phone wondering if he should send Aaron a message or not. Something to rub his nose in it, something like: _**Sorry we couldn't meet today, Chrissie was spoiling me rotten considering.**_

  
 _Considering_ , that would make it clear right? Robert hovered over the send button but then pulled away and deleted his words, knowing how childish he sounded and not liking.

Robert slammed his phone down and stared at his watch, it was beautiful and expensive and suddenly he felt bad for not appreciating it as much as he should have. He had had a good day without Aaron being apart of it, an _enjoyable_ one in fact but he couldn't deny how he felt, how there seemed to be something _missing_ when Aaron wasn't around.

Robert's phone vibrated and he rolled his eyes at the sound, it was probably Andy ready with a snide remark considering how moody he seemed in the pub when he had walked on and saw Robert sitting there with his wife. 

Robert sighed, picking it up and then halting as he saw who it was from.

 

\- **_Meet me in the barn, 10 minutes._**

 

Robert's eyes widened, shock raced through him because Aaron hadn't given anything away really when their eyes had met in the village. He didn't seem angry or frustrated, more like completely unfazed and somehow that unsettled Robert even more. If he went along he was walking into a lions den blindfolded, no indication of what Aaron would be feeling or wanting to stay. Robert read the message again, 'the barn? they hadn't been there for months, soon the hay had been replaced with fancy hotel mattresses and it had been abandoned. Robert shut his eyes for a few seconds as he thought back to the memories he had of _their_ barn, rough kisses and loud moans and unvoiced feelings that hadn't dared been expressed yet. Good memories, he remembered the way.

 

\- - 

 

Robert parked his car up near the farm, out of sight like he used to do. The action sent a tingle through Robert as he thought back to how it used to be with him and Aaron, when it was all about sex and lust and desire and he didn't have to have this tight knot in his stomach about keeping the peace. Robert straightened his back as he approached the barn, a small smug smile on his face because he was reliving the memories and it was overwhelming - rolling in hay, laughter followed by groans.

The feeling was replaced with a further tightening in Robert's stomach as he braced himself for what would happen, it was his own birthday and of course Aaron was ruining it somehow, his need to make Aaron content was destroying his own selfish desires. Robert shook his head hard, blowing out a short breath as he pulled open the creaky barn doors and looked around.

He could already see the leaking hole in the roof, droplets of water splashing down onto a bucket that hadn't been there before. Robert looked towards the bundle of hay and raised an eyebrow, blankets surrounded the floor, hiding the majority of hay and making it all look that little bit more _comfortable_. Robert blinked out slowly, titling his head a little and seeing a few battery operated candles by a small hamper filled with nothing but cans of beer.

"Surprise then." Aaron mumbled out, appearing from the corner of the room and making Robert's heart beat that little bit faster.

  
He was wearing a different top than earlier, tighter, brighter and something that Robert approved of.

  
Robert broke out into a disbelieving smile, still in shock because he had half expected an argument, a smack and a _we're done_ '. Not _this_.

  
Aaron walked towards him slowly before planting a kiss on Robert's lips and then pulling away, his face falling a little as he saw how shocked Robert still looked. "Wow it really is then..." He observed with a nervous smile.

  
Robert gulped hard and shook his head as he looked around the room, "It's just - I, I don't deserve this.."

  
Aaron raised an eyebrow and shook his head, "It's your _birthday_." He pointed out like that obviously made a massive difference. "I'm not just being this nice for the sake of it."

  
Robert tried to smile again and found it easier, "No. Course not." He teased, earning a light punch on the shoulder.

  
Aaron turned towards the blanket and pulled out a hand, dragging Robert towards the hay and then passing over a can to Robert. "Happy birthday Robert." He said, raising his own can and cheersing proudly.

  
Robert couldn't help but lean over an kiss Aaron's cheek quickly, "Thank you." He whispered lovingly, still overwhelmed.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulder, "Ah don't be saying that before you've seen my present." He mumbled before turning his body and reaching for a small parcel that had been concealed from Robert because of the hay.

  
Robert's eyes widend, "Present?" He drew a quick breath as Aaron looked back at him and nodded.

  
Aaron pulled a face, screwing it up a little and titling his head as if he was embarrassed, "It's - I - yeah well you might not, I think it's a little daft but you, I hope you like it -"

  
Robert kissed Aaron again, silencing him and then looking down and unwrapping the present. "I already do, 'cos you gave it to me." Robert pointed out with a smile before ripping off more pieces and gasping.

  
It was a model set of a car he had blabbed on about one night with Aaron, it was a bloody toy that could _never_ be taken out of its packaging but _still_ it meant everything to him. It was the dorky boy in Robert that couldn't resist.

  
Robert looked up at Aaron, "I can't believe you -"

  
Aaron leaned a little closer, "Is it the right one?" He whispered tentatively, instinctively grabbing into Robert's arm for reassurance.

  
Robert nodded his head, unable to look away from the car model in front of him. "Yeah, _yes_ Aaron it's exactly the fucking one, how did you find it?" Robert had been looking for years.

  
Aaron shrugged, "Looked online." Robert looked up at Aaron in awe, making the younger man blush. "It took a while but..." _It was worth it, you're worth it._

  
Robert placed the model down and sighed, his can still cool in his hand as he shook his head, "Aaron I don't deserve this." He pointed out, he hadn't been the _best_ recently because Donny was in the way and insecurities about being second best to the absent father reigned supreme in Robert's mind.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, "I _told_ you it's your -"

  
"I thought you'd forgotten." Robert admitted shyly, looking away from Aaron. "You didn't text or nothing, and then I saw you in the village and -"

  
Aaron sighed hard, his eyes catching sight of Robert's watch. "Yeah well, I wanted to surprise ya and then I had doubts." Robert raised his head and looked at Aaron, confused. "How was I supposed to complete with that eh?" Aaron couldn't help but look at the watch again and then stare round the barn. "I had this to offer ya, a leaking roof saved only by a bucket I found at the scrapyard and a fucking toy car." Aaron let out a lousy laugh, knowing how awful it sounded.

  
Robert leaned towards Aaron and kissed him once more, pulling Aaron down onto the blankets and then pushing away so he could see Aaron's face, eyes fluttering, smile warm and loving. "Aaron," Robert breathed softly, "This is what you offer me." He whispered, pointing towards his face and the smile that hadn't been able to leave.

  
Robert pressed their foreheads together, bits of hay flying everywhere and making them laugh, "You make me _so_ happy Aaron." He said honestly, his smile only becoming bigger as he felt Aaron kiss him again.

  
Robert moved off of Aaron after another kiss and shook off the hay that had surrounded him. Aaron looked towards him, fearing it all had been a case of empty words.

  
"I'm sorry I couldn't book a room or something, I - I couldn't afford an expensive one and - and I didn't think you could spend the night away anyways." Aaron said hastily as he watched Robert stare down at the car again, a few pieces of hay still buried in his blonde locks.

  
Robert ripped his eyes away from the model and looked up at Aaron, "Stop going on about that. I don't care about _things_ Aaron, not when it's me and you." He whispered, looking around the room and feeling his heart swell.

  
"I didn't think you'd do this for me, no one has ever..." Robert trailed off and cleared his throat, holding back tears as he felt Aaron reach out a hand.

  
"I wanted you to know that I care." Aaron shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "I know you're growing through stuff with..." He cleared his throat and carried on, " _Them_. Donny and that and I've been - short with ya 'cos well...you know what I'm like Rob." Robert nodded shyly, knowing that deep down Aaron was only like that because he was so emotionally invested in what they had. Aaron sighed, "I want you to know that I _care._ I mean...a can of beer and a car thingy is my cheap working class way of showing that and I know it dosen't live up to what you've had today but -"

  
Robert pulled Aaron closer, kissing the younger man's head again and again. "This is the best birthday ever." He admitted like a child who had just got his favourite toy.

  
Aaron scoffed and shock his head, "What 'cos ya can tell the time _whilst_ showing everyone how filthy rich you are?" He teased, making Robert tut playfully.

  
"No, no 'cos you're here with me." Robert admitted, Aaron looking up at him and smiling shyly. "Because I have you here, in this barn, _our_ barn and you've just given me the dorkiest _best_ present in the world and I love you." The last part wasn't planned but it fell out nonetheless.

  
Aaron sniffed away from Robert, as if he didn't want the older man to see the tears in his eyes. Robert pulled Aaron in even closer, kissing his head again because he _knew_.

  
Aaron sniffed a little quieter as he kissed Robert's chest, "Happy birthday Robert." He whispered out again, this time the words making him feel overwhelmed with love for this beautiful man who was spending hours on his birthday with a scrapper who gave him a bloody toy car for his big day.


	16. The client

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A client turns up at the portacabin and offends Aaron whilst there, prompting Robert to act.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really haven't forgot about this, I have so many cute little ideas but there has been so much going on that I haven't been able to upload as much as I'd like to. This one dosen't have a set date but you can imagine it's around Mayish or basically a time where things are frosty (when weren't they ever!)

Aaron dragged the roof off a car down with difficulty, jumping a little as it hit the ground and made a loud noise that had caught Robert's attention. Aaron looked away just as Robert's eyes widened, he didn't expect Aaron to be there, he shouldn't have been there. Adam had mentioned something about them both being out for the day and so when Robert was forced to drag along this _prick_ (David the prick Riely) that wouldn't sign a deal without seeing his 'other projects' he didn't think he'd be in this bother. He didn't think that _lying_ about being the sole owner of the scrapyard to impress this idiot would ever be a problem.

Aaron looked up and cleared his throat as he watched Robert approaching him from a fair distance, businesses suit on, smile on his face and - some bloke.

  
He looked just as wealthy as Robert, his tailored suit telling Aaron just that and making him seethe a little. Robert drew closer and Aaron lifted his head a little more so that he could properly see the older man. The smile Aaron thought he was showing suddenly appeared nervous and forced, Aaron dropped his head again trying to ignore the way it managed to hurt his heart just a little. He hated how he was always able to see things in Robert that people overlooked, he hatred how _well_ he knew Robert now when they weren't even together. He wished he could forget, his heart wouldn't let him.

Robert's voice rang through the scrapyard, he was trying his best to avoid having to talk to Aaron but the client that he was with suddenly seemed interested.

  
"Hm seems efficient enough I suppose." The man cleared his throat, observing his surroundings and sticking out his chest. Robert nodded alone, rolling his eyes as the man turned away because he hated how he was _trying_ his hardest to make out he had a clue about scrap metal.

  
Robert's eyes fell on Aaron and he felt his heart tighten a little, they hadn't seen each other for a while. It was his fault.

 

Robert had been busy, too busy and Aaron had had enough. Understandably.

  
"So when did this all start up?" David cleared his throat again, grabbing Robert's attention just as Aaron looked up. He turned away too quickly, and suddenly he was seeing Aaron shake his head from the corner of his eye, his heart hurt again.

  
"Er...yeah just a few months." Robert whispered out, his attention clearly elsewhere. He wanted Aaron, he needed him and he knew that he had to work for it.

  
The man nodded his head along and then suddenly he was whistling towards Aaron. Robert's eyes widened in horror as he realised the prick was trying to get Aaron's attention so rudely.

  
Aaron carried on working, taking his time as he pulled out a part of an old car and sighed. Robert's heart continued to thump as he heard David whistle again, this time though pulling up a hand and clicking towards Aaron. That's when Aaron looked up. His face saying it all.

  
"Er what are ya -"

  
David turned to Robert and frowned harshly, "Does this bloke speak English?" He said quickly as Robert's eyes widened.

  
Robert gulped hard as he heard something fall to the ground and then Aaron approaching them, his fists balled as he stared at the businessman.

  
"Yeah. He does." Aaron practically spat.

  
David eyed him before letting out a smug smile, "Two sugars, dash of milk ta." He said effortlessly missing the way Robert's head fell towards the ground.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders harshly, "There's a kettle in there." He pointed towards the portacabin and then back at David. "Be sure to knock yourself out." He added before turning away.

  
David blew out a long breath and then a chuckle as he turned towards Robert, "You just can't get the staff these days." He said with a tut that made Robert yank his head up.

  
Aaron stopped dead and scowled at Robert, " _Staff_?" He questioned, blood boiling as he stood there.

  
Robert gulped hard, flicking his eyes between David and Aaron before sighing and walking towards Aaron, making excuses to David as he did so.

  
Aaron was inches away from Robert as he stood there, a few metres away from David and nearly out of sight.

  
"You said I was staff? Staff? Mate this is my business." Aaron exaggerated his point by thrusting a finger into his chest angrily.

  
Robert nodded, " _I_ know that, it's just - he dosen't." He said feeling ashamed for lying. "I said I owned the place, all of it."

  
Aaron frowned, "You lied." He pointed out and then shrugged his shoulders, "Well excuse me for not being a little more shocked that you were trying to play the big man." He said sarcastically.

  
"Aaron," Robert tried. "Look okay he just needs to sign this deal and then you'll never have to see him again alright. Just go back to work and ignore him yeah?" He tried to reason and saw Aaron giving in before -

  
"And why should I do anything for you?" Aaron scowled again as he asked the question, a very good question considering they hadn't seen each other for weeks now.

  
Robert lifted his head a little, suddenly gravitating towards Aaron as he let out a feeble smile, unconvincing just like earlier. "You shouldn't." He mumbled out.

  
It seemed to catch Aaron off guard, shock him into a nod of the head. "Just make him stay out of my way."

 

\- - - 

 

David suddenly wanted a tour of the portacabin, the smallest space known to man kind and Robert begrudgingly showed him round, smiling as he waved a hand round the office.

  
"Nice little place you have here." David smirked, seemingly impressed as he pressed a hand to the wall and then looked towards Robert's desk. "Good little earner." He commented as his eyes fell to Robert's and then he looked outside the window.

  
Robert tensed as he watched David looking at Aaron with a rude expression on his face as if the younger man seemed to annoy him.

  
"Yeah it's decent." Robert cleared his throat and felt his heart give way as he saw Aaron walk towards the portacabin and then walk inside, forcing the door open as he did so.

  
"Wow." David spoke dryly as he watched Aaron shuffle into the small space. "No knocking then." He added as Aaron looked his way.

  
Aaron bit down hard on his lip, trying to hold it together and then he stared hardly at Robert, wanting him to do _something_.

  
"Someone like you probably dosen't know any differently though eh son." David was obviously not a fan and Robert felt his heart thump as he heard Aaron's shallow breath quicken.

  
"What the hell does that mean?" Aaron barked angrily and it took seconds for Robert to be by his side. Their hands almost touched and Robert felt himself blush as David stared out the window, thankfully he hadn't seen.

  
"That's enough David." Robert didn't know what he was doing, what he was _saying_ because he was told not to get on the wrong side of the prick but he couldn't help it. He was talking about Aaron. He couldn't talk about Aaron, not _his_ Aaron.

  
"You what?" David's voice was stern and Aaron felt his breath hitch all of a sudden because he hadn't expected Robert to _actually_ do anything at all.

  
Robert cleared his throat, "You heard me. That's enough, leave him alone." He was speaking slowly, his voice dripping with confidence despite the way his hand was shaking a little.

  
David scoffed as he waved a hand at Aaron, "Oh the lad gets paid dosen't he? Hardly think he gives a toss about what I say about him."

  
Aaron moved forward, "Well I do. So I'd appreciate it if you -"

  
David rolled his eyes, "God pipe down lad." He stared at Aaron intensely and then smiled, "Chas Dingle's son."

  
Aaron's face flickered and Robert held his breath.

  
"I've seen ya moping around that pub before eh." David scoffed, "Say hi to your mother from me." He winked and Robert felt his stomach flip.

  
Aaron launched himself forward and Robert acted quickly, gripping Aaron by the waist and holding him close. They hadn't been this close for a while and Aaron would be lying if he had told himself he hadn't missed the feeling Robert gave him when they touched. He settled instantly and pulled himself back from David.

  
"I think ya better go now." Robert declared, sighing as he watched Aaron try to calm himself down.

  
David rolled his eyes, "A Dingle eh, you're lucky you've got a bloody _job_." There was an intensity in his eyes that told Robert he obviously had some history with the family but that didn't excuse his treatment of Aaron. No way.

  
"You're wrong." Robert blurted out, forgetting himself a little. "I'm the lucky one." It was said so confidently that Aaron had to pull his head up and watch the words come out of Robert's mouth just to see if it was _real_. "He's a hard worker, dedicated and loyal and I'm lucky to have him."

  
Aaron bit down on his lip, ignoring the way Robert had forgotten to add ' _here_ ' to the end of his sentence. He wondered for a second if it was done on purpose.

  
David stiffened, "I'll be leaving, _with_ my money if you don't mind. I'm not working in a business associated with the likes of _him_."

  
Robert should have felt angrier but he wasn't, he had spent the whole morning trying to seal this deal but still he wasn't frustrated or annoyed. If anything he was just relieved he didn't have to see him again.

  
"Yeah well, your money isn't _welcome_." Robert blurted out, he hadn't realised how close he was to Aaron but somewhat the younger man was able to give him this strength.

  
"And neither are you." Aaron butted in, puffing his chest out as David looked his way, "So jog on." He added with a smile that made David disappear.

  
The door shut and Robert stood there for a few seconds, he didn't know what exactly to say or do but then Aaron began walking towards his desk and Robert feared he was going to ignore him.

  
"Aaron, I'm sorry for -"

  
Aaron turned around to face Robert and smiled, "Do you want a brew or something?" He asked, his voice was soft and shy and making Robert's heart melt inside.

  
Robert nodded as he watched Aaron switch the kettle on, he felt this need to hold him close and found his feet shuffling towards the younger man and then moving a hand on his shoulder.

  
"I meant what I said about -" _I'm lucky, I'm lucky you're in my life Aaron. I really am._

  
Aaron turned around again, this time a little too quickly and he found Robert's face _close_ to him, their noses almost touching as he nodded his head and felt Robert's forehead rest against his own.

  
"I really am lucky," Robert whispered into Aaron's parted lips, " _Really_."

  
Aaron gulped hard, his lips moving towards Robert's and resting there before feeling Robert react and kiss him back, slowly and softly and making him feel _loved_ after hearing about how badly his family was viewed by others. He was made to feel like scum but now he felt adored, again and again and he didn't want to let the feeling go, even when the kettle did boil.


	17. The drive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron drive out somewhere and talk deeply about their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is so bittersweet it's unreal, i'm sorry but I do believe this is the sort of frank conversation that would have occurred during the affair, that sort of - is this all worth it? sorta conversation. anyway it's not the most soppy one but it's my bday tomorrow and i thought why not upload something sad to celebrate - i need help, let me know if you liked this one! xx

Robert had just kept driving, not really caring where exactly they would end up. He needed this time with Aaron, he always did. It was quiet, the sky dark and cluttered with stars as they found themselves near the edge of a cliff, the rubble under the tires filled the car with noise, replacing the sound of the engine that had been stopped by Robert's key.

The low humming coming to an end alerted Aaron who looked towards Robert, realising that they had his hand had been over Robert's the whole time, he hadn't even thought about it but now he was pulling it away and Robert's eyes were telling him to let it stay. He did.

  
It was a cold night, a night that should have been spent wrapped in blankets and held tightly but Aaron couldn't afford that luxury not when he was so terribly in love with Robert Sugden. No, he had this. He had a drive out to nowhere, the sound of rain falling and then stopping and then the sky growing darker and darker. Robert had been quiet, unusually so and _clingy_ as he persuaded Aaron to join him, to come for a drive with him as if he had nothing better to do. 

  
That had been three hours ago.

  
Aaron gulped as he saw how lost Robert seemed, something was obviously on his mind and he didn't know what. "Robert, are you okay?" He had asked three times already but got nothing back but a nod of the head and Robert trying harder to act as if he was just focusing on driving. He couldn't hide behind that anymore.

  
Robert turned towards Aaron, a hand coming up to stroke Aaron's face lovingly, "I just needed to get away for a bit, just be with you like this." He whispered out, thinking back to how trapped he had felt that morning when Chrissie was yelling at him over Lachlan and then the company and telling him he had to try harder to get Lawrence on side. It had all got to much and he was finding himself running towards his car, finding Aaron and taking him with him, holding onto him for a few seconds and then driving and driving to forget his life.

  
Aaron shut his eyes as he felt Robert's hand stroke his cheek, it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside but then they opened again as he realised how late it was, "Robert shouldn't we be getting back, dosen't Chrissie -"

  
Robert tensed, pulling his hand away and sighing. "I don't want to go back." He admitted aloud, it made Aaron's eyes widen in shock because he didn't know fully what Robert meant by that.

  
Robert realised how open he had been and quickly realised he couldn't leave it like that, "I mean - I want to stay here with you." That was different, that didn't take anything away from Chrissie right?

  
Aaron gulped hard, eyes fluttering a little as he gripped onto Robert's hand and smiled. "I don't want you to either." He said softly before pushing his head towards the floor, "Robert," Aaron sighed out, looking at the ring that Robert was wearing and then thinking about how badly he thought he was loved by the man.

"Are we bad people?" It wasn't meant to come out like that, but it did. It had been on his mind for days. He wasn't cold and cruel, he didn't enjoy hearing Robert lie to Chrissie about where he was but then again half the time he didn't allow himself to care and that made him even worse he thought.

  
Robert frowned hard and turned his body so that Aaron could see him properly as he spoke, "Why would _we_ be bad people?" He wanted to know job Aaron had come to such a conclusion.

  
Aaron shrugged shyly as Robert caught his eye, "What we're doing, how we feel about each other even though we shouldn't. Lying. Lying to your -"

  
Robert shook his head hard and suddenly pulled at Aaron's arms so that he could realise how serious he was being. "Listen to me Aaron," Robert said, his breath a little shaky, "Falling in love with an arsehole like me dosen't make you a bad person -"

  
"You're not an -" Aaron whispered, his hands coming up to cup Robert's face.

  
Robert shook his head, "I am Aaron, _I'm_ the bad person not you, all you did was love me - I'm the one lying, _cheating_..." It was almost like it suddenly hit Robert as he sat there in his car, it dawned on him. He was a bad person, he was living a lie, kissing and holding his wife and wanting someone else, _needing_ someone else all the while.

  
Aaron's eyes widened, he hadn't planned on Robert feeling bad about himself, he just had to let him know what was on his mind. "Robert - you're not a _bad_ person I didn't mean for it to sound like that -"

  
"I am though," Robert raised his head, his mouth a little open. "The minute I kissed ya, I - I've been living a lie, I've been -"

  
Aaron chewed on his lip and suddenly felt the need to interject with a burning question, "Do you regret it? Do you regret _this_? Do you wish you didn't feel the way you do?" The questions came pouring out of him and his voice was shaky as he spoke.

  
Robert panted a little, his breathing all over the place because the thought of regretting what he had with Aaron seemed almost alien to him. How could he regret what they had, how Aaron was the one thing in his life he could fully rely on. " _No_. No Aaron, God no, don't ever think that." Robert caught Aaron's hand and held them tightly as he spoke.

  
Aaron shook his head, "But I make ya a bad person don't I?" There were tears in his eyes as he spoke, he was suddenly thankful for how dark the surrounding were.

  
Robert scoffed, "Aaron you bring out the best in me. You make me a _better_ person, time and time again." It was true, somehow when he was around Aaron the need to compete, to be ruthless and calculating just _melted_ away. Aaron made him want to be _good_ , because that was what Aaron _valued_ \- _kindness_ , loyalty and love. And that's what Robert knew he had to give to him, above everything else - that's what Aaron needed from him and suddenly his confident nature that Chrissie loved wasn't important.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes, "I'm the one who makes you _lie_ to your wife Robert, just to be with me." He felt awful for how it sounded, how true it was.

  
Robert shook his head and sighed, "Aaron - you don't _make_ me do anything. I _choose_ you, and yeah - yeah I suppose that makes me a bad person because I should choose my wife, but -"

  
"We shouldn't feel bad for loving each other..." Aaron whispered, leaning towards Robert as he felt their foreheads met.  
Robert breathed into Aaron softly, "I don't, loving you makes me feel _good_ Aaron - I don't feel guilty about it, I _don't_." That was true, yes lying to his own wife made him feel awful at times but the fact that he was doing it because he _loved_ someone else somehow made it seem more worth it.

  
Aaron kissed Robert then, soft and slow and then suddenly he was wrapping his arms around the older man, "You know I feel the same..." He mumbled against him, tears staining Robert's jacket.

  
Robert gulped hard, "I know Aaron, I know." He whispered before pulling away and looking towards the wheel of the car, it was nearly eleven o'clock and they had to get back.

  
Robert looked ahead, thinking about turning the car around and carrying on driving, running away like that, "Do you ever think about what would happen if we just -"

  
"All the time." Aaron ducked his head down shyly before pressing a kiss to Robert's hand, "It wouldn't work though, we both know it." He added as Robert looked at him sadly as if he thought differently and suddenly Aaron wanted to say something else, to take it back but he couldn't.

 

There would be no point in that.


	18. The outburst of feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one takes place quite early on in the affair but of course we know how much Aaron was falling for him already and Robert was repressing a hell of a lot so I hope this doesn't coming as a surprise in terms of feelings.

Robert rolled off Aaron with a deep sigh, slightly shaky and enough to let Aaron know he was more than pleased with his performance.

  
"Alright?" Aaron wasn't cocky or confident, not like Robert anyway but he was when they were like this, when he could make Robert so _spent_ and content.

  
Robert turned around a little shyly, his eyes flickered because he didn't know what to say really. He had called Aaron's name out as he climaxed and it sent shivers through his body as he attempted to grip hold of Aaron's hand and watched their fingers intertwine. He hadn't done that before, he hadn't felt the need to but this time he couldn't control it. It felt as though he had no control over the outburst and that he was unable to hold himself back.

 

He was usually good at that, not giving too much away. He liked that about himself, he liked how Aaron seemed to have a similar mentality.

 

But he _had_ given the game away, of course he had because he was sure Aaron had looked at him and for the briefest of seconds thought _his mine, I've got him now._

 

  
Robert eventually cleared his throat and tried not to do so awkwardly, "Yeah. Why?"

 

It was a little blunt but in all honesty Robert seemed offended by the question, it felt as though Robert was teasing him about what had happened and he was instantly on the defence as he lifted from the hay abruptly.

 

  
Aaron gulped hard, registering what Robert was doing and taking it in. "No reason," he settled with after debating whether or not to tease his lover a little more over it.

 

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders, "Right well," he hated these moments. The moments that followed the raw passion and intimacy that was shared between them.

 

The moments where Robert thought of Chrissie and Aaron seemed hopeful for another round. It always left him torn, guilty and unsure what to do, in the moment he could be easily swayed to stay and kiss Aaron and forget but he never did. "I best be off." It took a while for him to finish the sentence but Aaron seemed to have figured it out already.

 

Aaron's brow narrowed and then came a little laugh, a mocking one that told Robert he wasn't amused in the slightest.

 

"What a surprise." He sounded bitter and that scared Robert a little, too bitter already he thought and then he began to dread how much worse it would get in time.

 

Aaron pinched the top of his nose and sighed as he began to collect his things, pulling on his jeans in a huff.

 

Robert signed, raising his eyes to the ceiling because he _hated_ this part too.

 

"Aaron don't be like -"

  
Aaron turned around sharply, "Like what?" He snapped, unable to say anything else all of a sudden because he was getting ridiculously attached already to this engaged man who clearly didn't need nor want him in the slightest.

 

  
"Angry, upset - I don't know," Robert slapped his hand towards his thigh and bit down on his lip, "I don't know, hurt -"

 

Aaron lifted his head, eyes widening because he had been caught off guard completely by Robert. For a second he was stunned into shock as he tried to tell himself that that wasn't the case at all.

 

But it was true, he _was_ upset. He couldn't deny that. He couldn't tell himself he was this emotional over someone he didn't have feelings for.

  
"I'm not _upset_." Aaron forced the words out boldly, catching Robert's attention. "Why would I be?" He added, squinting and then shaking his head because he was annoyed even more now.

 

Robert hardened, knowing that being gentle with Aaron wouldn't help matters.

 

"True. I mean we both know what this is." He didn't mean for it to come across the way it did, almost cold and to the point.

 

Aaron nodded a little, "Once you're married -"

 

  
"This, it's nothing." Robert mumbled out regretfully as he spoke.

 

  
For a second Aaron allowed himself to wonder if it was _was_ something _now_ but then he stopped himself. "Yeah I know."

 

  
"So why the angry look? I'm sorry I have to go meet my fiancé about wedding flowers and -"

 

  
Aaron pushed past Robert in a fury, "Spare me the details," he barked out, turning around and then regretting it as he realised he had tears in his eyes that Robert could see.

 

  
It took seconds for Robert to feel bad and he hated that. "Aaron -"

 

  
"Leave me alone, go back to your filthy rich missus -

 

  
Robert tensed as he moved towards Aaron, "Don't say that about her Aaron," he had to defend her, didn't he?

 

  
Aaron leaned forward, "Or what?" He remarked, arching an eyebrow and then turning around again. His hands were shaking from again and he hated how badly Robert cloud effect him.

 

  
Robert noticed. A part of him wanted to ignore it and call Aaron a name or something but then he saw that he was fishing for his keys.

 

  
"Just drive safe alright!" It wasn't meant to be so honest and raw and it sound like he was genuinely worried that Aaron would have an accident if he didn't calm down. But it did.

 

  
Aaron turned around swiftly and looked at Robert's face, softer and calmer. He was falling for that face he thought and he hated it so badly.

 

  
He was stunned by how sincere Robert sounded, it threw him completely.

 

  
"Yeah I will." Aaron whispered softly, his anger easing all at once.

 

"Good." Robert said shyly, "I'll ring you later if that's -"

 

"Yeah, it is." Aaron whispered again before feeling Robert draw closer and miss his cheek. He didn't do that ever but now he was pressing his lips to Aaron's cheek and then pulling away just as quick. Aaron knew he was blushing as he left with the realisation that maybe Robert did have the potential to care for him, to care about him and actually feel something too. Maybe he wasn't alone in the downwards motion of falling for something he shouldn't.

 


	19. The kidnapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This once is quite clearly set after the amazing episode where Aaron saved Robert from Cain and everything we already knew what just reaffirmed: Aaron still cared. This one is a lil bittersweet like the rest of them but I wanted to upload it because it's been sitting in my notes for a while now.

  
Aaron was trembling all over as he tried to drive down the roads without crashing into someone, he wasn't concentrating enough though. Not when he had Robert in his passenger seat, bleeding and bruised all because of his uncle - _Cain_. Robert's head fell forward a little and suddenly he was struggling to breath, the faint cries instantly alerted Aaron and suddenly he was pulling into a dead end road and daring to look at Robert property.

  
Blood was still dripping down his face messing and his eye was starting to blacken as he winced, the sight was enough to make Aaron hold back tears. He hated Robert, had every single right to but still he was a _mess_ because _he_ was in pain, as if he somehow felt Robert's pain just as equally. That hurt more than anything else.

  
The sound of the car coming to a halt pushed Robert a little forward and Aaron was forced to watch the older man squint in pain and then turn towards him.

  
"I'm alright ya know." Robert mumbled out, a hand permanently resting on his side that told Aaron he most definitely wasn't.

  
Aaron scoffed, gulping hard as he eyed Robert. "Don't lie to me." He said bluntly, seeing though the words within an instant. "You're in pain, I should get you to a hospital." He added, his eyes flickering a little as he thought about how serious the damage was.

  
Robert rolled his eyes and sighed, "No." He blurted out, the thought of having to explain this all to Chrissie was enough to give him a headache, he couldn't even think about explaining why he was in hospital. Aaron arched an eyebrow that made Robert turn to face him better, "I'm fine." He pushed out, trying his hardest to make it sound true.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes and then shook his head hard, "Whatever." He let out, his voice telling Robert he didn't care that much and a part of Robert believed him. It was enough to make his heart race quicker, the thought of Aaron not caring hurt all over despite the fact that they weren't together at all anymore.

  
"Yeah whatever." Robert said back childishly before sighing and suddenly feeling defensive because Aaron was just gazing out of the window. "Learn to control your psycho family by the way - ya know for the next time I get kidnapped."

  
Aaron turned around sharply, a softness he was willing to show was instantly dissolved, "You what?" He barked at Robert, alarming the blonde but not enough to make him back down. He was embarrassed, hurt, angry and lashing out at the one person who had helped, who had _saved_ him.

  
"Cain. He needs to be locked up." Robert pointed out, breathing a little heavier as he spoke.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes again and started chewing on his lip, he couldn't argue with that, well he could but he wouldn't. "Maybe, but you need to learn to keep your mouth _shut_ when it matters."

  
Robert shook his head and tried to laugh as Aaron's eyes widened.

  
"You think this is funny?" Aaron asked, leaning a little closer and then lowering his voice, "Look at the state of you." Aaron eyed Robert up and watched him squirm a little. "You know he could have _killed_ ya if he wanted to." The realisation was staggering, hitting Aaron hard as he thought about what would have happened if he hadn't gone in when he did, if he had waited a a few minutes later. Would Robert has been beaten unconscious? Or worse.

  
"Yeah I'd like to see him try." Robert scoffed, a smug smile on his face because he couldn't bare the thought of Aaron seeing how effected he was.

  
Aaron let out a frustrated sigh and pushed his hands out, "STOP MAKING OUT YOU'RE OKAY, THIS IS ME ROBERT. ME." Aaron pointed towards himself and then looked back at Robert, "All that lying you used to do when we -" Robert looked up at Aaron and caught him off guard, they hadn't been alone like this since things ended, since Aaron ended things.

  
Aaron simply sighed, "Don't you get _tired_ of lying?" He asked honestly, staring directly at Robert and wondering how he could do it so _well_.

  
Robert shifted awkwardly, "Yeah. But sometimes...it's better than being honest." Aaron titled his head. "I wish I was though, with you. Right from the start Aaron, maybe we wouldn't have ended up here." He said, all his words became harder to say as the bruising got worse. He couldn't stop thinking about what he had said, how honest it had been. The idea of telling Aaron he loved him from the very minute he did would have changed things, telling Aaron he wanted him when he did wouldn't have resulted in _this_.

  
Aaron tried not to think about that all and shrugged his shoulders, "Yeah well you can't change the past."

  
Robert gulped hard thinking back to Cain and shaking, "He's gonna pay for this Aaron. I swear to God."

  
Aaron scoffed, pushing his head forward and then sighing. "Don't make threats Robert. Not when you can't live up to them, and you won't be able to I'm telling you that now. Haven't you learnt not to mess with him?" Aaron asked in disbelief, not understanding Robert's attitude.

  
Robert's eyes widened, "He's an animal, look what he's done to me." He blurted out before wincing, "You might be able to forget it but I can't, he's gonna get what's -"

  
"Shut up." Aaron sighed, a hand over his forehead in annoyance, "Just shut up, I give up. Do what the hell you like." He was giving in, knowing that Robert couldn't possibly just listen to him and actually learn from his words at all.

  
'Yeah you make a lot of sense.' Aaron rolled his eyes, if only that was still the case.

  
Robert frowned at him, "No need to get all _shirty_ with me -"

  
"No need, no _need_? Robert I had to _save_ ya from my uncle."

  
Robert pulled back, "No one asked ya to." He mumbled out before seeing how worked up Aaron was getting and hovering a hand over his, "I'm sorry." He whispered, hating himself for never being able to say anything right.

  
Aaron started the engine quickly, "I shouldn't give a toss. I don't. I don't - I _don't_." He kept repeating the words, almost trying to remind himself that he didn't care about Robert but it was pointless.

  
Robert's hand suddenly touched Aaron's and both of them felt a tingle of energy racing through them. Aaron looked up at Robert and for a few seconds let them stay like that until he pulled away again.

  
"I shouldn't care -" Aaron said, staring again.

  
"But you do, and I do and we will _always_ care Aaron. It's just how we are." Robert tried to reassure him, to tell Aaron that he wasn't alone in what he was feeling.

  
Aaron sighed, not feeling alone, never feeling alone because he knew Robert was always there, feeling the same amount of love - however annoying at times.

  
"I love you Aaron, and you still care about me." Aaron lifted his head slowly. "I know you do because I saw the way you were looking at me...you were scared won't you?" Robert dared, wondering how Aaron would react and then pausing as he saw Aaron slowly start to nod his head in defeat.

  
Robert blew out a low breath, "So was I." Aaron looked up at Robert, thankful for the honesty, "When you left...I just lost hope - a part of me thought that he actually could have -"

  
Robert was taken aback by the sight of Aaron's hand on his thigh, as if to settle him, make him feel better, it was beautifully comforting and everything Robert needed in that moment. Just Aaron's touch alone made him better, after all this time.

  
"Let's get you home before anyone asks questions." Aaron mumbled out, his face soft and gentle and making Robert feeling overwhelmed with this bittersweet feeling.

  
"Or we could just keeping driving. Not stop until we reach another dead end." Robert thought he had said it aloud, but the next minute he knew he was pulling up at Home Farm and Aaron was beside him, his face inches away from Robert's as he helped him towards the house.


	20. The jealousy (I)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was prompted by a comment left on the previous chapter to do a jealousy fic in regards to Robert being jealous of Aaron being with someone else. Note how it says part 1 in the chapter title just because I can imagine doing some more ones regarding jealous robron in different situations. This is set during about Mayish, they aren't seeing each other at the time.

Robert felt the tension in the atmosphere as he sipped at the pint poured too quickly by Chas, he tutted as it was past to him and the head of it took up the majority of the glass. She was bitter with his actions but he told himself he didn't care about what she thought. He did though, he didn't like the thought of Aaron's mother hating him when he seemed unable not to love him.

  
Aaron.

  
He hadn't seen him for weeks, it was 'done' between them apparently but he new that wasn't the case, he knew it _couldn't_ be the case considering it was Aaron he was talking about. Aaron who couldn't leave him alone even when if he blanked Robert completely. Aaron who could be miles away but still fester away in his mind for hours and hours and hours for no good reason.

  
He had been meaning to sort things out, to try at least to win him round again but it was pretty much pointless when he thought about the rejection he would face. He was too proud to even think about the possibility of Aaron scoffing and walking away as he tried to apologise for his arsehole behaviour.

  
Robert finished his pint swiftly as he thought about the younger man, he hadn't _seen_ him for a few days and the thought unsettled him greatly. The idea of not seeing Aaron and not _knowing_ if he was okay made him feel odd inside, it was a thought too worrying to even register because _that_ was how much Aaron had taken hold of him. Robert sensed something as his eyes fluttered towards the entrance on the pub doors, he knew it was him before he even heard the gruffness in his voice and the squeaky sound of his trainers that made him laugh.

Robert had to fight the smile edging across his face as he stared down at the now empty pint glass and felt Chas' eyes shift from his to her son's. A smile grew on her face, a dazzling one that made Robert lift his head up and then gulped hard as he turned around and saw Aaron standing there, hands deep in his pockets and a small trying smile on his face. He was standing there and Robert had missed him but then Robert looked towards the right a little and saw -

  
He was taller than Aaron, he had blonde hair that looked unkempt and too long but he wasn't ugly, he was _attractive_ and young and Aaron was smiling with him, his eyes were alive and blue and he was laughing about something and -

  
He was biting his lip. He was biting his lip and titling his head and Robert was burning inside.

  
First came the shock, deep and troubling because Aaron was with someone else and that was - _new_. Robert hadn't seen Aaron with a bloke before he became involved with him, he hadn't seen anyone really make Aaron smile apart from _Adam_.

But this tall idiot was, he was _really_ making Aaron smile and scrunch his nose and Robert was in complete _shock_.

  
Then came anger, bitter and twisted because Aaron wasn't supposed to be with anyone else. Aaron was his even though he wasn't. It didn't make sense as he thought about it properly, they were in the midst of an affair. Well they had ended things, in fact _Aaron_ had ended things but _still_. They weren't stupid, they knew they still had that spark and fire inside them, the electricity just fizzing around the room _waiting_ and _waiting_.

  
"Alright love," Chas looked pathetic, dropping a hand over the bar and smiling like a fool. She really couldn't tone down her excitement about seeing her boy with a bloke who wasn't married or evil.

  
Aaron finally drew his attention away from the man and turned towards the bar, his eyes meeting Robert's before he even registered his mother. He hadn't seen him, he told himself he didn't want to see him but he knew he was lying. Robert just had this hold over him, this weight that wouldn't shift because he was always _there_ and it made him sick and giddy at the same time because Robert had _stuck_. He had stayed inside his head throughout everything and that was new. That was really new.

  
"Yeah ah, er two pints yeah?" Aaron edged a little closer to the bar and Robert had to force himself not to look up and cause a scene. Instead Robert looked like an idiot as he stared down hopelessly towards the empty glass and watched the bubbles of foam fizz out and dissolve.

  
"Oh you grab a table - I'll bring 'em over!" Chas beamed, winking towards Aaron and then darting her eyes towards Robert as if to say 'I'm doing that so he dosen't have to see your face for a minute longer.

  
Robert gulped, shaking his head as he saw the tall man gestured towards a small table and touched Aaron's shoulder in the process. Aaron hardly reacted to the gesture and that ached Robert a little more, _was he used to it?_ He thought to himself as he sat there brewing, _had this bloke done that before?_

 

Robert should have gone then, but he didn't. Of course he didn't. Instead he sat there and watched like some crazy stalker, instead he lied and told Chrissie he was stuck in Hotten and that the traffic was mad so he would be home later than expected. He should have felt bed as he read the message back to himself but instead he felt relieved that he was able to text anything to her. He didn't feel any shame because he couldn't allow himself to, not now, not when Aaron was leaning towards the blonde twat and then looking at his phone eagerly.

  
For a minute or so Robert stopped staring and had to catch his breath, for the first time it occurred to him what Aaron would be like if they were publicly _together_ and it _hurt_. It made him feel this dull ache inside that wouldn't go away because now he was seeing Aaron relaxing and smiling and being this person who only Robert saw in private and it wasn't for his benefit at all. It was for this man's who was sipping away at his pint and keeping Aaron interested for some odd reason and then -

  
He touched Aaron. A hand came up to shove at Aaron in this playful way and then it travelled down to his arm and then his thigh and then it rested there for too long, _way_ too long and it took seconds for Robert to fly out of his chair.

  
He wasn't thinking and then suddenly he was thankful that Chas had stalked off around ten minutes before. Aaron's eyes found his and they widened, he gulped hard at the sight of Robert who looked like he didn't know what to do or say or even think.

  
Robert tried to compose himself, hurt present on his face he thought and then anger all mixed together with this love he had for Aaron that he wasn't able to show because nothing was easy in life and he had Chrissie but he was loosing Aaron, he was _loosing_ Aaron. Robert let out a shaky breath as he wondered if he already had lost him completely, the thought killed him. It really did.

  
"You alright there mate?" It was him, the tall idiot who said it, who looked directly at Robert as he spoke, turning his body around and showing Robert this nice smile.

  
Robert cleared his throat, "I...um I -" Aaron caught his eye and he felt as though he was being exposed and Aaron could see him for all he was.

  
"Aaron," Robert said his name like it was some desperate plea and then he looked away feeling even more like an idiot for not being able to hide his emotions behind a cocky smile. He tried, turning back around and hardening his eyes, focusing on the anger he felt about Aaron being with someone else. "A word?" His voice was strong and demanding and Aaron couldn't help but listen to him, he tried not to but he did. He wanted to tell him to do one, to say something sassy back but he didn't.

 

Instead he rolled his eyes and nodded and slid off the chair, pushing the doors to the exit open after marching towards them.

  
"What?" Aaron barked, his eyes narrowing as Robert inched further towards him in the small space.

  
Robert couldn't speak, he was all shaky breath and sweaty hands and feeling like a teenager who was asking their crush to like them back.

  
"I wanted to speak to you about the scrapyard." Lie. He didn't have anything to say about the fucking scrapyard but he could hardly just start asking questions about the attractive idiot Aaron was drinking with.

  
Aaron scoffed, "Right. Of course you do." He shook his head and made an attempt to leave, "See ya later."

  
Robert was quick, catching Aaron's arm and pulling him back towards the wall, pinning him there and then blowing a slow deep breath towards the younger man's lips. There was nothing to say yet but Aaron wasn't pulling away and it felt _right_ to be like this, to be this close to Aaron again. It felt _so_ right.

  
"Robert -" it was like a plea, the same one Robert had given him back in the bar.

  
Robert shook his head, tensing a little as he pulled his hand up towards Aaron's face, "You - you're mine Aaron," he whispered, soft and slow and achingly raw.

  
Aaron gulped hard and tried to push away but he couldn't, "I'm not. I can't be -"

  
"I'm yours too."

  
His words shocked Aaron to the core, shocked Robert himself even more because he hadn't expected that but it was true. Aaron had him in every single sense of the word, he was Chrissie's in mind and body but he was Aaron's in heart and soul and somehow that meant more to him now than he had ever realised.

  
Aaron titled his head, "You're not. I wish, I wish you -" he didn't finish the sentence, he didn't need to.

  
Robert shook his head and sighed against Aaron, "What is _he_ yours then? Is he?" He tensed as he spoke and his voice came out desperately sad and harsh at the same time.

  
Aaron frowned, his eyes narrowing again. "Is who?"

  
"That - bloke in there." Robert stammered out as he looked towards the door leading to the bar.

  
Aaron swallowed, "David? No." He said simply, only making Robert angrier.

  
"Want to tell him that then? I mean he - he's all over you and -"

  
"Yeah well I'll tell his beloved _girlfriend_ Rosie that too then, I'm sure she'd love to know." Aaron leaned towards Robert, his words snappy and harsh.

  
Robert settled back, "Girlfriend?"

  
Aaron nodded his head. "He's planning on proposing and he came by to the garage asking if anyone could get him a decent car to take her across the country in so he could make it dead romantic. Cain landed it on me 'cos he was too busy to deal with it." Aaron shrugged his shoulders. "He was showing me all these fancy cars on his phone and making it a little _less_ boring actually until you had a funny turn."

  
Robert had never felt quite so relieved as he stood there and took in what Aaron was telling him. The guy wasn't even gay, he was planning to propose to his girlfriend and Aaron was excited over cars not him. He had seen it all wrong.

  
"I didn't have a funny turn." Robert wobbled out, unease spilling through him as he tried to gather his thoughts and not let Aaron see.

  
Aaron smiled then, for the first time and Robert saw it and then quickly mirrored it. Something in the air felt easy suddenly and it felt as if they were back lounging around for hours on the sofas at Home Farm and everything was good in the world.

  
"Look Aaron I'm sorry that I just -"

  
"Acted like Robert." Aaron interjected with no real malice in his tone. "Rob me and you aren't even -"

  
Robert nodded his head, "I just, the thought of - of loosing ya," Aaron gulped hard. "I mean I know I don't have ya but, but still Aaron I -"

  
"You have me Rob." Aaron admitted aloud, titling his head against the wall and then looking back at Robert, "You do." Aaron whispered softly, "Although you shouldn't- and I, I should be over whatever this is. I can't. You - you're still in here," he pointed towards his forehead and twisted his finger to drive home the point, "And I don't think you'll ever leave."

  
It was almost admitting to something more, it was a way in and Robert felt his heart skip a beat as he dared to rest a hand over Aaron's chest.

  
"You have me too, I think - I think you always will. No matter what." It was true, it was honest and raw and sincere.

  
Aaron gulped at his words and then felt Robert brush their noses together lovingly, not daring to kiss him and just letting them linger against each other as if they were coming home or something.

  
"So you don't fancy him then Aaron?" Robert whispered so close into Aaron's ear that the younger man shuddered and then let out a hollow laugh.

  
"Nah, already have my eye on this blonde bloke actually." Aaron whispered back, kissing at Robert's ear lovingly and then down his neck as he pulled him into the toilets and reasoned that David would have to wait a little while until he figured out what car to actually hire.


	21. The kicks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you guys know that this was a very old cute one I found saved away and basically I haven't had time to write those reuquests that I definitely saw were left on the last chapter, but I will get round the them. In the meantime enjoy this one! Xx

Aaron wasn't _staring_ , his eyes just so happened to be flickering open every so often and falling onto the sight in front of him, Robert Sugden. Robert Sugden laying in bed with _him_ , inches away, _touchable_ , _kissable_ even.

  
He couldn't sleep, not really because he could still feel this annoyingly forceful energy surging between himself and Robert, hours _after_ all their love making had stopped.

  
Aaron's eyes fell shut again, knowing that the only way he could drift off was if he was facing away from the older man, face towards the wall like a child who couldn't deal with distraction from the window at night.

  
Aaron must have drifted off into a sleep because a few hours later who was woken by the feel of Robert's feet pressing against his, Aaron frowned and for a few seconds thought Robert was being playful but then suddenly he felt it - 

 

_Kick_.

 

Aaron turned back towards Robert, expecting some sort of explanation but not getting one as he was met with a mass of blonde hair and freckly skin. Aaron's frown softened into a smile as he looked at him, becoming lost again like he had done before. It took a few seconds for his eyes to close, for him to fall back into a sleep that was somewhat peaceful until -

 

_Kick_.

 

Aaron's eyes sprang open as he muffled into his pillow, confused for a few seconds before he realised it was Robert - _again_. The younger man looked towards Robert, this time noticing how the blonde man seemed to be tossing and turning in his sleep. Aaron raised an eyebrow in surprise, not thinking that Robert was the type to be restless in his sleep, it made him smile - _knowing_ things this private about Robert when they were nothing really but _lovers_ , in the sleazy way.

 

Twenty minutes later, Aaron had a hand pressed (a little lovingly) to Robert's chest and was asleep again, his breathing soft and slow and then - 

 

_Kick_.

 

This time it was a litter harder, a thump that hit the side of Aaron's body and jolted him awake again so that he could see Robert's face staring back at him. He was all dazed and confused and sleepy and the sight was enough to make Aaron catch his breath.

Robert was frowning as he looked across at Aaron and realised he had probably kicked him awake like he usually did, it was something he had always done when he wanted someone next to him, when he was _comfortable_. Explaining it to anyone he slept with made them shake their head in confusion because _surely_ if you were comfortable there wouldn't be a need to kick out in bed.

Robert found it hard to articulate, but it made sense in his head, stretching out and feeling the person next to him was almost like a plea for reassurance that they were still there, and when he got that he could _relax_ into a sleep again until something told him to check again, and again and again depending on how badly he needed the person laying next to him.

"Did I kick ya?" Robert asked, a little shocked and slightly dazed because he didn't realise he would have had the same habits when it came to _Aaron_.

  
Aaron nodded sleepily, "Yeah just a few times." He mumbled out, his head resting on his hand.

  
Robert gulped then, _a few times_. It was almost like revelation, a fact that had been uncovered and laid bare. He looked for reassurance when it came to the newly established scrapper.

  
"Sorry." Robert offered, suddenly feeling awkward and unsure about what he was feeling and what his body was almost _telling_ him.

  
Aaron shook his head and huffed out a long breath as he nuzzled into his pillow a little further, "S'aliright." He whispered, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the need to shut his eyes again and drift back off.

  
Robert studied the innocence on Aaron's face and longed for it dearly, wanting these thoughts to leave his head. _A few times._ He couldn't remember the last time he had been told off by Chrissie for kicking in his sleep but he did recall her saying he only did it once or twice at worst. But with Aaron it was already _a few times_ and the night was still relatively young. How much reassurance did he subconsciously need when it came to knowing if Aaron was still there? How important was Aaron to him?

  
Robert gulped hard and shut his eyes tight, knowing if he subconsciously did it once more that night then he was in so much deeper than he had first thought when he kissed the scruffy mechanic at the lay-by.

 

Aaron shuffled a little, breathing slow and steady and his heart beating regularly as he slept until - 

 

_Kick_.


	22. The comfort needed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remember watching the scenes after the whole fiasco with Lachlan and Alicia and seeing how Robert was supporting the family almost blindly, surely he had doubts and saw through it all? So I wanted to address that as well as highlight Aaron's anger during Super Soap Week when he was on the cliff with Lachlan and told him he didn't get to make people feel like 'that' anymore. It was so interesting and almost out there considering we never saw an inkling of Aaron's thoughts regarding Lachlan's assault charges. Surely it must have been bought up between Robert and him? 
> 
> I wrote this one ages ago, it's hardly the happiest and when you think about what we know now it's all the more sadder - why on earth have I included this? I hope you realise why I did by the end, it's soft and fluffy at the centre I suppose.

  
It was all over the village, everyone had seemed to have found out pretty quickly and the thought churned Robert's insides.

He was still in shock as he recalled the way the police turned up to question Lachlan about the sexual assault claim, he remembered the way his eyes had fluttered and then dropped in shock because, _Lachlan_ was capable of that and he knew it deep down. He had always been strange, reserved and too introverted at the best of the times but Robert hadn't care in the slightest. In fact he welcomed his quietness, it only meant more time with Chrissie, more time alone.

  
Things had changed now though, Chrissie spent her days either crying her eyes out or baying for Alicia's blood and he was stuck in the middle desperately trying to play the dutiful husband who was supporting her all the way. He felt sick though at the thought of defending the boy who was responsible for a decent normal family going through hell, he had to though, he had to.

 

\- - - 

 

Robert felt all eyes on him as he entered the pub and saw Chas standing there, swirling a pint glass in the palm of her hand and sizing him up, almost debating whether or not to even serve him.

  
"Pint when you're ready." Robert gulped down his anxious feelings and even managed to flash a smile at the woman as he sat across from her.

  
Chas made a noise that told Robert she was annoyed with him even more now, she had insults ready to fire.

  
"Shouldn't you be at home consoling your little rapist step son?" The question almost silenced the pub and Robert watched as Moira and Cain ducked their heads away from Robert's view.

  
This was all he needed.

  
Robert sighed hard, trying to hold onto something inside him that wouldn't crumble. "Just serve the drink and don't talk about things you don't understand." It was punchy and quick and nearly caught Chas off guard entirely.

  
"Er what's not to understand? Lachlan assaulted Alicia and now everyone up at the big manor is helping him get off the hook."Chas practically through the pint towards Robert and he had to react quickly as he grabbed it and tried to remain calm.

  
He was trying to do that more often now because the thought of Chas knowing that he wasn't on Lachlan's side at all would make things worse for him, for his marriage, for his livelihood.

  
"It's disgusting if you ask me." Chas gestured towards Robert and he passed over a few pounds before watching her face _judging_ him.

  
"Yeah well the thing is Chas, no one did ask you so mind your own business." He was on the edge as he spoke, terribly on the edge and Chas could see as she stood there loving it.

  
Chas scoffed again, folding her arms over and smiling smugly. "Gosh what a model step father you are eh?"

  
Robert felt as if his mask was slowly slipping as he sat there, "What?" He couldn't say anything else.

  
Chas smiled, a dazzling one that she usually did when she thought she was right. "Well I mean didn't you teach him not to go around raping women or were you getting to that later?"

  
Robert felt as if he had just been punched hard in the pit of his stomach, suddenly everyone was staring and he realised that _everyone_ thought him and Chrissie were responsible for what had happened. He was Lachlan's step father, his guardian, his _parent_ and so he was responsible for him, for his actions.

  
He sat there practically frozen and unable to speak because it was all bubbling to the surface and it was becoming more real and apparent and he was believing he was to blame.

  
"Well aren't you -"

  
Chas was cut off quickly and Robert was suddenly thankful and she was stopped and then he heard someone speaking, someone familiar, someone who was settling him within seconds.

  
"That's _enough_ mum." Aaron was there, Aaron wasn't against him like everyone else.

  
Robert kept looking towards the floor, he didn't want to say anything else, he couldn't really. He was in deep shock because Aaron hated him, Aaron had ended things after Katie and he genuinely believed there was no way back for them at all.

  
_Whatever this was, it's done. I deserve better than you_.

He had meant it that day and it had cut right through Robert as he tried not to crack underneath the scrutiny of his lover. But now he was sticking up for him, he was defying his own mother who would quickly presume they were back ripping each other's close off now.

  
Chas seemed stunned at first and then rolled her eyes, "Wow. You're _really_ sticking up for him." She pointed towards Robert and caught him looking up at her sheepishly, "After what Lachlan did?"

  
Aaron tensed, "Yes what _Lachlan_ did, not him." The pub was silent again and Chas looked at him as if to say 'why are you trying to make me look like an idiot, you should be supporting me?' Aaron cleared his throat, "Besides I'm not 'sticking up for him', not at all." He was defiant as he spoke and Chas nearly bought it before she watched the way the younger man looked across at Robert, pity but mostly love their still in his blue eyes.

  
Chas turned towards her son, blocking Robert from his view. "He's his step dad and he let -"

  
"He didn't _let_ anything happen mum, it wasn't his fault so just drop it. If you want to blame anyone look for Lachlan!" Aaron snapped, his eyes wondering over to Robert's and resting there long enough to see the tension ease from Robert's body entirely and then nearly catch a 'thank you' that rested silently on the older man's lips.

  
Chas nearly saw the exchange and before she could comment Aaron charged around the bar and headed outside to escape her judgment. Robert remained silent as he sat there, he was thankful, so thankful for Aaron it ached inside.

 

\- - - 

 

Robert didn't expect to see Aaron again but he did. Robert had left the house and decided to take a walk to clear his head, somehow his feet had taken him to _the_ lay-by and Aaron's car was already parked up as he got there.

  
Robert felt his heart tug a little at how they just seemed to gravitate towards each other without meaning to. Maybe it was fate, maybe whatever they were was simply fated.

  
Aaron lifted his head up and looked at Robert walking towards him, a part of him thought it would be best to start the engine and drive off but he _couldn't_ do that to him. He didn't want to.

  
Robert reached the window and cautiously knocked alerting Aaron who unlocked the door swiftly and felt the bitter breeze enter his car.

  
"Can I sit with ya?" He sounded like a little boy, a scared vulnerable one and Aaron gave in as he nodded at the older man and watched him slide into the passenger seat.

  
The door was slammed shut and they sat in silence, neither of them could actually get any words out yet and the sound of their breathing filled the air until Robert turned towards Aaron.

  
"Lachlan, what he did - maybe Chas was right about me being responsible." He hadn't been able to think of anything else as he saw Lachlan and Chrissie at home.

  
Aaron frowned, letting out a shaky breath. "It isn't your fault Robert."

  
Robert shook his head slowly, "I knew he was - he was odd Aaron and, I should have done _something_ before - before it was too late -"

  
Aaron moved his body towards Robert's and simply placed a hand over Robert's, it worked magic and suddenly Robert was relaxed again.

  
"What he did," Aaron ducked his head a little. "No one should _ever_ have to go through that." He added darkly, all of a sudden Robert noted that Aaron was finding it hard to speak but he didn't push him anymore. "I'd hate ya to think it was down to you. You shouldn't have to carry that guilt Robert."

  
Robert squirmed a way a little and Aaron gripped harder on his hand, "I _mean_ it Robert."

  
Robert huffed slowly, "I hate what he did." He admitted, he hadn't been able to say anything that Chrissie didn't want to hear and now he was letting go. "He's messed up Aaron and he deserves to be punished."

  
Aaron nodded his head, "I know," he shrugged his shoulders, "Sometimes people get away with stuff like that though." He added, staring out the window for a few seconds before clearing his throat and turning back towards Robert.

  
"If he gets away with it then - God Aaron I'll be chased out the bloody village." Robert's voice was high and tight as he spoke and Aaron realised how much he had been effected by everything, how much Robert seemed to value people's opinions of him. "I'll have to leave -" _you._

  
Robert caught his breath and Aaron tried to ignore the way the sentence would have ended if he didn't. 

  
"They all think I'm to blame, that I should be ashamed of myself and it's true. What Chas said was _true_ , I should have -"

  
"What taught him not to go around raping people?" Aaron tried to voice how silly it sounded but it didn't help.

  
"Yes." Robert said quickly, "I'm his father figure, aren't you supposed to teach your kids stuff like that?"

  
Aaron shook his head, "Sometimes things don't have to be taught Rob. He knows right from wrong and he's not stupid, he knew what he was doing."

  
Robert nodded his head, trying to feel better as he looked towards Aaron again.

  
"I didn't think you'd - you'd want to comfort me. Not after the mess I made of everything between us." _Katie, Katie, Katie._

  
Aaron cleared his throat, "Yeah well," he shrugged his shoulders. "I don't like the thought of you thinking you're responsible for something like _that_ , no one is to blame except him okay? It's so important you know that Robert." He was serious as he spoke and Robert squinted at him as if he was curious, it made Aaron back away slightly and Robert realised he had to leave it alone, whatever it was.

  
"I do." Robert gulped, "I do now."

  
Aaron nodded and breathed out a heavy sigh, "Good." He whispered before looking down at their hands and peeling his own away, it was better this way he thought as he turned his attention towards the steering wheel.

  
Robert saw the shift, knew that it was time to leave even though he didn't want to. "Thanks Aaron," he said cooly before opening the car door and then turning back to press a kiss to the side of Aaron's head, he smelt like metal and rust and hair gel and Robert was in love with it all. "You have no idea," _how much that meant, how much you mean to me Aaron, no idea._

Robert breathed into Aaron's ear before pulling away again and seeing the effect he had had on Aaron.

  
He was sure the younger man had tears in his eyes he was trying to hide, a blush on his cheek that made Robert smile to himself as Aaron looked his way.

  
"Neither do you," he whispered back to Robert, confirming that he had been thinking the exact same thing as Robert had when he pulled away.

  
Robert left then, scared he wouldn't be able to if Aaron left him kiss him on the lips next. He felt lighter as he walked away, better and more level headed about everything and it was all because of Aaron, _always_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have been so busy recently and I promise that I'll be writing many more of these little affair!robron snippets soon. Much love! Xx


	23. The dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't actually have a clue about where this is set, but they're in pretty damn deep - just think before all the paddy mess.

"I had a -" Robert stopped himself, entering a conversation that would make him grow all shy and awkward was not what he wanted after a round of passionate sex.

  
Aaron narrowed his eyes, clearly he wasn't going to let it go. "You had a what?" Aaron teased, attempting to tickle Robert and then watching the older man bat his hands away.

  
Robert sighed hard, feeling like a spotlight was directly pointed at him. "A dream."

  
Aaron raised an eyebrow and carefully move his body over to Robert's so that he was effectively leaning across him. "A dream about what?" Aaron asked, clear intrigue on his face.

  
Robert just looked at Aaron and suddenly the younger man was blushing. "Me?"

  
Robert gulped, "You." He whispered, his eyes blinking quickly as he tried to think of what Aaron would say next.

  
Aaron let out a little laugh, "What a sexy one?" He offered with a smile and then a hand that dropped towards Robert's waist and made him hitch a breath.

  
Robert rolled his eyes and pushed Aaron off of him playfully before pinning the younger man down towards the bed and kissing his mouth.

  
"Let's just forget it." Robert whispered seductivelty, attempting to kiss the curiosity out of Aaron.

  
Aaron pulled away after a few minutes. "So it wasn't a sexy one then." Aaron squinted and then began stroking at Robert's arm.

  
Robert shook his head and the memory of the dream instantly made him smile. It had been so _normal_ , so _beautiful_ and relaxing. He remembered them laying there together, hand in hand and they were both sporting a silver ring on their finger. The sound of the sea told him it was nearby and he could make out a child playing in the sand, a dog digging beside him as childish laughter filled the air. He didn't want to wake up from it, he didn't want to leave the calmness and the way they were but he remembered doing so. The sound of an alarm and a nudge from Chrissie and it was over.

  
"It was a _nice_ dream, with me - and you and -" Robert gulped, feeling embarrassed and foolish and instead stopping himself before he could speak anymore.

  
Aaron smiled and Robert wondered if he had realised. "It sounds perfect." He whispered, kissing Robert's cheek and then his lips.

  
"It was yeah," Robert gulped, because it had been nothing short of perfect and he wished he could have stayed there forever.

 

\- - - 

 

Aaron made small circles in Robert's chest and looked up at him, "Tell me more about it." He whispered and Robert already knew what he was talking about although a few minutes of small talk had gone by.

  
Robert squirmed at the thought of telling Aaron, it would be fair he thought. His silence made Aaron sigh and then let out a little smile.

  
"I have dreams too y'know. Fluffy nice ones that I wish I could hold onto." Aaron tried, and Robert felt his heart melt because Aaron wasn't good at talking about these things but still was _trying_ to get Robert to open up.

  
Robert sighed, "Do they involve a kid and a dog and possible wedding rings on our fingers?" He blurted it out all too quickly and then caught his breath as he stopped.

  
Aaron was blushing, knowing how deep they were into this affair and how madly and pathetically in love they both were with each other. "Shit." Aaron mumbled, unable to say anything else, too busy picturing it all in his head.

  
Robert played with Aaron's hair, "Yeah _shit_." He said with a sigh.

  
Aaron frowned, "It's funny what you dream about." Robert nodded his head against Aaron. "You know, what it means and -"

  
"I know what it means Aaron." Robert interjected, his face falling and realisation clearly there as his hands grew clammy. Aaron looked up at him and widened his eyes. "I don't dream about that stuff with Chrissie you know."

  
Aaron bit down on his lip, not knowing what to say.

  
"Right then." Aaron said, suddenly feeling awkward at the sound of her name.

  
Robert gulped down his fear, "I really do love you. It means this - this isn't going away Aaron, I don't think it ever will."

  
_Do you think about the future?_... _I do._

  
Robert saw Aaron in his future and the thought made the younger man smile shyly and then kiss him slowly, savouring him again and again.

  
"I feel the same." Aaron nodded, eyes glassy. "I don't want this to end, I want you Rob."

  
Robert knew what Aaron meant, he knew he meant _I want all of you_ and his heart ached as he nodded.

  
Aaron sniffed, leaning against Robert again and staying silent for a few seconds. "Was the kid cute?" He asked, breaking the atmosphere and causing Robert to laugh and then desperately try to remember, blonde hair filled his mind.

  
"Hair like mine when I've just woken up."

  
Aaron thought for a few seconds before kissing Robert again, "Adorable then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope this was in character, robert isn't very open but i'd like to think he can't help himself around aaron. the idea was incredibly soppy and fluffy but i do feel like the reaction wouldn't have been one of joy and celebration because at the end of the day it was an affair at the time, and the dream was more like a 'gosh i'm in too deep' sorta thing rather than anything else. anywho enjoy.


	24. The afternoon delight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is set around the time of Donny being involved in the Whites, enjoy! Xx

Aaron liked to think that he knew Robert better than anyone else, he would look across the bar and just be able to _tell_ that there was something not quite right with the broody looking blonde. This time wasn't any different and Aaron was surprised by how quick he acted when he saw Robert with his head towards his empty pint.

  
"Alright?" Aaron came round the bar and leaned towards Robert before looking in the other direction as David raised his head and spotted the pair. Aaron's cheeks flushed, heart beating a little faster and then the feeling of _Aaron mate, you're having an affair_ subsided. He hated how aware he was about the secrecy of their relationship, especially when it didn't feel that way when they were alone. When it was just Robert and him.

  
Robert lifted his head and felt a weight melt away inside, he was at such an ease as he met Aaron's eyes and heard the soft concern in the younger man's voice.

  
He tried to nod and then gulped hard.

  
"Yeah fine." Robert said thickly, trying his hardest again to shift the negative thoughts in his mind.

  
Aaron nodded, shifted on his feet and then looked down towards them. He knew suddenly what the issue was and he sighed at the thought, _Donny_.

Robert had felt rigid against him recently, as if a part of him was subconsciously elsewhere even when they were _alone_. It stung to think it was because of Chrissie's ex, because he was _that_ possessive over the woman he was cheating on. It was laughable to an extent but Aaron bit down hard on his lip because _clearly_ Robert didn't find it amusing at all.

  
Aaron looked back up and then smiled at Robert, catching the older man off guard a little. "Well - I could make ya a little _more_ fine, if ya want." Aaron saw the way Robert's eyes brightened and then the way his cheeks seemed to flush and he _knew_ that he had helped Robert with his bad mood instantly.

  
Robert nodded again, this time a little more shyly as Aaron grabbed onto his arm tightly and whispered, "Upstairs now," knowing exactly what effect he was having on Robert as memories of backs pressed against walls and hot heavy breaths managed to fill the older man's mind instantly.

  
Aaron skirted across the bar swiftly before turning round to Robert and raising his voice loud enough for the villagers to here as he said, "Robert could you look over these files for the scrapyard?"

  
Robert nodded his head eagerly and quickly followed, overwhelmed with thanks that Chas was out shopping instead of minding the bar.

 

\- - - 

 

Aaron caught his breath back and heaved himself off Robert, kissing him as he slid down the bed and hugged at the older man's waist. They hadn't been like this for a while, so relaxed and completely undisturbed and Aaron knew that he'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed it. He had, _desperately_.

  
"I missed this," Aaron whispered out shyly before looking up at Robert and smiling, "I missed ya." He blurted out, he was meant to _think_ that, _only_ think that.

  
Robert gulped down hard and then began playing with Aaron's hair, soft and gentle just like the younger man was when they were alone like this. "I've missed ya too." He whispered back, kissing down at Aaron's hair and then pulling away again.

  
Aaron rested a hand on Robert's chest and braced himself, "So what was wrong - ya know, earlier?"

He couldn't help but ask, not after the sex they had just had, not after the rough hands and cries of passion laced with frustration and anger and this desperate need from Robert that had made Aaron roll his head back and surrender to the dominance that Robert seemed to pour out. He liked it, he _loved_ it but Aaron knew there was something deep down inside Robert that caused such a passionate love making session.

  
Robert rolled his eyes, "Nothing. I was fine like I said." He shrugged his shoulders to make a point of it but Aaron sighed out a protest.

  
"This is me Robert, don't lie to _me_." Aaron pleaded before ducking his head and bracing himself again, "Is it - Donny?"

  
Robert frowned harshly, tense and rigid and making Aaron feel instantly regretful. Robert sighed hard, silence filling the room and speaking for him as he sat there and thought about him and what had been said.

  
"You could say that." Robert pushed out awkwardly as he looked down at Aaron and began stroking the younger man's arm up and down lovingly. "He's not a fan." He said dryly before feeling Aaron laugh by his side, his body heaving up and down as he said, "Who is?"

  
Robert was thankful that Aaron could see his face fall as he said it, joked like always. It _was_ a joke, Robert _knew_ Aaron was only trying to be his usually sarcastic self but this time it managed to hurt a little more.

  
Donny had spat nasty things and Robert had spat them right back but then Lawrence had sided with Chrissie's ex and he was left out in the cold. Shunned and chastised for being so childish, called a 'silly toy boy' and faced with a pint to numb the hurt. And now Aaron was adding to it, he just wanted him to take it all away.

  
Aaron noticed the shift in the atmosphere and pushed himself up towards Robert, their eyes meeting as Aaron laid a hand over Robert's chest and looked at him lovingly, "I was only kidding," he whispered, his voice low and serious and making the worried smile on his face seem endearing as he tried to gauge a reaction from Robert.

  
Robert nodded, a smile delicate on his face. "I know you were." He mumbled out, the expression on his face still seemed troubled though.

  
Aaron moved closer, daring to hold Robert's face in his hands and caress his cheeks, "What did he say to ya?" He whispered, trying to understand.

  
Robert shrugged his shoulders, appeared like a stroppy child as he looked towards the sheets. "Nothing worse than what I said back." He raised his head and Aaron kissed him softly before pulling away.

  
"That's my boy eh." It was almost so unlike Aaron, Robert had to catch his breath. It made him shiver all over as he heard Aaron call him that, it made them seem so much more freer than they actually were. As if they were just kids or something and Robert was most definitely Aaron's boy and that was that. Robert smiled into a kiss and managed to pull at Aaron's hair as they deepened their passion.

  
Aaron pulled back first, smiling as he looked at Robert. He seemed lighter, almost happier and his heart tightened.

  
"What?" Robert questioned, blinking slowly as he caught the way Aaron was staring at him. It made him almost melt.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders and then looked away shyly, "When I saw ya at the bar you - you looked dead upset, and, now you -"

  
"I'm happier." Robert mumbled out, knowing what Aaron was trying to get act. "Because of you." He added, shrugging his shoulders lightly.

  
Aaron scrunched up his nose, "Because of _sex_." He corrected Robert.

  
Robert shook his head, pulling Aaron closer. "Nah that, that _eased_ the frustration of that stupid twat but you - you helped make me smile, make me feel _better_."

  
Aaron couldn't help but look away.

  
"I mean it. I'd be fucking lost without you Aaron Livesy." Robert pulled a hand though his hair as he spoke and Aaron froze, shocked at his words.

  
Robert noticed as kissed him quickly to stop the moment from lingering, to stop the heavy _I love you_ that seemed to be hanging in the air.

  
Robert pulled away, kissing Aaron lightly as he lifted away his lips from Aaron's. "Thanks." Robert mumbled, soft and sweet. "For - for not _asking_ about Donny and - ya know just, just making me feel better."

  
Aaron blushed and nodded his head, "I fancied an afternoon delight to be honest." He shrugged his shoulders and kissed Robert again, "Besides, why would I want to speak about that Scottish twat when I've got a sexy Sugden in my bed?"

  
Robert laughed again, a smile even wider and a twinkle in his eye, loving Aaron that little bit more with every kiss they shared minutes after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to think that Robert and Aaron had moments like these when Donny was around, not all snappy, quick little moments but actually times where Aaron realised how Robert felt and just made him feel better - subtly. Hope you liked this one.


	25. The helping hand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has references to self harm talk in it, it's not heavy stuff but I thought I'd just let you know before you have a read. it's set around april/may ish :)

Aaron tapped his pen down onto the table over and over again as he read a form in his head.

  
"Would you _stop_ doing that?" Robert snapped, a glare in his eyes as he spoke.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "You know what you can do if you don't like it." He said looking towards the door and then back at Robert.

  
He didn't want him there and he _knew_ that Robert was only trying to get back into his good books after the way things had seemed lately. Donny this. Donny that. And then his obsession with ruining things for his best mate and Victoria. Aaron was done.

  
"I'm trying to run a business here." Robert frowned, wondered why Aaron was being difficult and then stopped himself. He peered around the office and felt guilty and then angry because Adam and Victoria were currently God knows where and Aaron wasn't giving out any information.

  
"So am I. So do one." Aaron barked, his voice edgy as he spoke to Robert and made it clear how he felt.

  
Robert leaned back on the chair, "Missing your best friend eh?" He asked, knowing it would get a reaction out of Aaron.

  
Aaron stood up quickly and walked out the door, slamming it shut behind him and leaving Robert feeling guilty.

  
"Oi Aaron wait!" Robert opened the portacabin door and saw that Aaron hadn't wandered far off, he was by one of the cars petting Scrappy with one hand and looking at the damaged engine with another.

  
"Aaron -" Robert tried again and suddenly watched Aaron turn round to face him.

  
"Just leave Robert, just leave me alone. Just do that for me, this one thing alright." Aaron's voice began to crack at the end and Robert frowned as he saw the Aaron's eyes were glassy and filled with tears.

  
"No. No you're upset, I can't just -" Robert tried to reason but Aaron cut him off.

  
"Because of _you_ , get lost and I'll feel _loads_ better." Aaron pushed past Robert and called out for Scrappy to follow him.  
Robert felt his heart ache a little, the thought of him causing Aaron upset like this was beyond him. He hated himself for it.

  
Robert turned to leave but then looked back and decided he couldn't. Aaron was already near the portacabin, wiping at his tears and it took seconds for Robert to grasp hold of him and turn him around.

  
"I'm sorry Aaron okay - fuck I'm sorry I just -" Robert's eyes widened as he felt Scrappy bark louder and then suddenly claw at his arm.

  
Aaron pulled the dog down and stared at Robert, stunned and then panicky as he saw blood pour from a cut on Robert's arm.

  
"Fuck that - that hurt, ah." Robert held onto his arm and watched as Aaron pulled a hand up to his shoulder.

  
"Its alright, come - come inside and I'll -" Aaron looked towards the dog, gesturing for him to calm down as he pulled Robert inside the portacabin and sat him down.

  
"Stupid - stupid dog." Robert spat out as he heard Scrappy continue to bark.

  
Aaron rolled his eyes as he tapped on the window, "Enough now!" Aaron ordered and suddenly the barking stopped and Scrappy walked off.

  
Aaron looked back at Robert and saw the older man squinting at him. "What?" He asked nervously.

  
"Have you got him trained to attack me or summat?" Robert questioned, a small smile on his face as he saw Aaron begin to protest against it.

  
Aaron carefully walked over to Robert and looked at his arm, the cut was pretty deep and Aaron's head filled with memories he wanted to forget.

  
"He hates me." Robert whispered as he looked down at it and then saw the way Aaron was looking at it. He had fresh tears in his eyes and Robert felt responsible.

  
"Fuck. I didn't even think -" Robert felt like an idiot as he realised that he was making Aaron look at a deep cut and he knew his mind was traveling back to self harm, reliving the feelings, the thoughts.

  
Aaron stopped Robert from getting up and shook his head, "Robert -"

  
Robert shook his head, "No look it's alright, just - have you got a first aid kit? I'll take it and do it somewhere else." He muttered, consciously shielding Aaron from the view of his cut arm.

  
Aaron caught Robert's uninjured arm and pushed him down on the chair. "It's _fine_." He whispered, suddenly something changed in the air and Robert dared to believe that Aaron was looking at him with love in his eyes not hate.

  
Aaron walked towards a cabinet and pulled out the first aid kid, placing it on his desk and reaching for the bandages.

  
"I can do it - I don't mind Aaron. I understand." Robert looked up at Aaron as he spoke.

  
Aaron shrugged his shoulders, "I know how to apply bandages a little better than you do." He reasoned, not meaning for it to sound so sad as he said it.

  
Robert's eyes flickered and he leaned in a little as Aaron began bandaging his arm. "Exactly." He whispered darkly, "Believe it or not Aaron but I do _care_ about ya. I don't want you being upset. I couldn't bare that -"

  
Aaron cut Robert off, "Stop being soft." He mumbled as he worked on the bandage and then stopped, finishing quicker than Robert would have thought. "It's done now." He added, not knowing how to feel and regretting being so blunt with his words. Yes Robert was being soft but he needed that half the time.

  
"Thanks." Robert said, wincing a little as he moved his arm.

  
"Maybe we should have gone to the hospital." Aaron blurted out, worry across his face.

  
_We_. Robert heard the word and tried not to smile.

  
"I mean it could - what if it gets infected or something?" Aaron added as Robert looked up at him and saw how scared he seemed.

  
Robert's heart skipped a beat, _he still cares,_ he realised and he would hold onto that for as long as he could.

  
"If it does then, then I'll go but it _wont_ so don't worry." Robert said before regretting his words and the way they just assumed Aaron actual worried about him.

  
Aaron seemed shocked and a little taken aback but he didn't deny anything as he stayed silent and watched Robert walk towards the door.

  
"I'll leave ya to work." Robert said softly before watching Aaron stand up and walk towards him.

  
"I'm sorry for - for Scrappy." Aaron mumbled out shyly before looking around the scrapyard and smiling. "I reckon the coast is clear now though."

  
Robert nodded, things between them seemed almost easy. "See you Aaron."

  
Aaron rested his head against the wall, "Yeah see you." He whispered, watching Robert walk away and trying not to think about how scared he had been for the older man.

 

_Someone still loves Robert..._

  
Aaron shook his head hard, still not denying anything as he went back to his desk and tried to read through the form again, being able to smile a little as he thought about how loyal his dog was to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh I miss scrappy ;( I have headcanons (robron-headcanons) on tumblr about scrappy hating Robert and barking every time he goes near Aaron. Bring back scrappy!


	26. The 'little thing' Robert does

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIII GUYS I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THIS FIC !!!
> 
> so i wrote this on my tumblr page @littlelooneyluna and then was going to post this chapter as a stand alone one and then i tagged it as affair!robron and thought about this lovely little (slightly abandoned) thing i have over here! 
> 
> honestly it's just sheer fluff and i think we all need it really

Aaron’s trying to leave and Robert won’t let him. It’s making Aaron have this warm fuzzy feeling inside and, try he might, he can’t resent it.

  
“Oh c'mon, you don’t have to go yet.” Robert wines, looks like a little boy as he stands there in his dressing gown still on and looking all pleadingly at Aaron.

  
Aaron bites down on his lip, he’s only been staying Home Farm for a night and Robert already doesn’t want him to leave.

  
It sends butterflies shooting through his stomach, makes his eyes flicker and think of hope for something more between them and then he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

  
“I have to go.” Aaron settles on saying as Robert wraps a hand around his waist and attempts to tug Aaron closer to him.

  
Robert smirks, plants a kiss on Aaron’s lips and then pulls away. He has this ugly thought that he is being pathetically needy and he hates it.

  
Aaron almost sees the panic and suddenly kisses Robert back a little more passionately than before.

  
“What was that for?” Robert says, almost shy and shocked by Aaron’s actions.

  
Aaron just shrugs, knows there’s a glimmer of something in Robert’s eyes as he looks at him. “Just a little goodbye.” He says, hand on the door handle.

  
Robert pouts, leans in and then raises an eyebrow at Aaron, “So I can’t persuade you to stay then?“

  
Aaron gulps, resists. "Nah.” He says playfully, a smile on his face and then suddenly Robert is closer, Robert’s hugging him with almost nothing behind it and then he’s leaning in, kissing Aaron’s neck tenderly and then burying his head into it.

  
Aaron doesn’t say anything, he practically freezes around Robert and then slowly he allows himself to just accept it, just accept all of this puppy dog love that Robert can offer him when he wants to. He loves it, loves all of it even though he shouldn’t, just _loves_ Robert.

  
Robert pulls away and then his eyes flicker up to Aaron’s, “See ya then.” He says, like they didn’t just embrace so easily at the front door as if they were this old sentimental soft married couple who have loved each other for years.

  
Aaron can’t even speak, he’s still a little stunned by how soft and delicate Robert had been a few seconds ago. Just a little action like that was able to make Aaron fall that little bit harder. He didn’t even think it was _possible_.

 

*

 

It happens again, it happens when he gets back and Robert’s cooked them dinner and Aaron, just for a few seconds, convinces himself that he’s come back from work and they’re in their home and his boyfriend’s cooked them dinner.

  
Robert greets him, he’s wearing a red apron and he’s hairs a little mad but Aaron’s sure that he sees something inside the older man melt as he walks over to him and kisses him.

  
“How was your day?” Robert asks, and again Aaron’s stunned because it’s just so normal.

  
Aaron nods slowly and then pulls a little face. “Bit tired actually.” He admits, feels like he doesn’t need to lie in front of Robert.

  
Robert mirrors Aaron’s expression and then he’s close again, he’s leaning in and tugging at Aaron’s waist and kissing him tenderly before moving down and kissing Aaron’s neck instead.

  
Aaron shivers a little and then feels Robert press his head into Aaron’s neck, it’s almost like he’s seeking some comfort from the younger man and Aaron’s hesitant at first because he doesn’t know what to do.

  
“Ya alright?” Aaron asks after a few seconds, titling his head so that he’s looking down at Robert.

  
Robert swallows, shit, he thinks because Aaron’s looking at him like he’s worried, like he’s a little confused as to why Robert is being so - clingy and wanting comfort from him. It makes him scared, makes him takes his head away from Aaron and clear his throat.

  
Aaron’s still looking at him, “Rob?” He asks, frowns a little.

  
Robert smiles, “You hungry?” He asks, switches the conversation and Aaron lets him because that was just _too loving_.

 

*

 

“So I’ll see ya tonight yeah?” Aaron yells at Robert who’s still getting dressed upstairs.

  
Aaron unlocks the door with the keys that are left out for him by Robert and then he hears the sound of feet storming down the stairs.

  
He smiles, turns and sees Robert standing there, a towel around his waist and his chest bare for Aaron to see.

  
“Is this supposed to impress me?” Aaron scoffs as Robert walks towards him slowly. “I’ve see it all before mate.” He adds and then Robert holds him by the wrist and pushes him against the wall.

  
Aaron’s voice betrays him, he hitches his breath and Robert sees the desire in his blue eyes.

  
“I’m not your _mate_.” Robert whispers huskily and Aaron swallows.

  
“Hm,” Aaron says before leaning in and kissing Robert, careful not to get overexcited and run a hand through the older man’s hair.

  
Robert pulls away and their noses brush against each other, “Stay.” He whispers and Aaron’s heard it before but it never fails to make him melt inside.

  
“I’ll see ya tonight -” Aaron argues, knows that Robert probably is thinking about something which has promoted his outburst. “Or won’t I? Is she coming back or -"

  
Robert shakes his head quickly. "I just - I got a text from her and, just reminded me that she is coming back sooner rather than later now.” Aaron looks away and Robert presses against him a little. “So I want you, I want you to stay."

  
Aaron gulps hard, doesn’t know what to say but it doesn’t matter because Robert’s holding the back of his neck, kissing the front of it softly and then just resting his head there for a few seconds, " _Please_?” He says, it’s almost a little plea and then he looks up at Aaron.

  
“What?” Robert says gently, moves away and tries to build up a wall of defence as he sees Aaron staring at him intensely.

  
Aaron just breaks out into this little smile and rests his head against the wall. "The whole neck thingy, kissing me and resting your head there - is that your thing?“

  
Robert wants the ground to swallow him up. Aaron’s noticed then.

  
Robert’s eyes flicker uncontrollably and then he builds up the courage inside him to shrug his shoulders. "Could be _our_ thing?” He says and Aaron still doesn’t say anything, he just stares at Robert. “Do ya not like it?” He says cautiously.

Aaron frowns, a hand falls onto Robert’s arms instinctively. “No it’s just -"

  
"Soft. Sappy. Not like me.” Robert fills in for him, knows it’s what Aaron will think.

  
“Something tells me you don’t do it a lot?” Aaron questions, a part of him think he doesn’t seek a little sense of comfort in his wife like that. All at once it means everything to him.

  
Robert shakes his head shyly and Aaron can see that he wants to drop the subject. The younger man breathes out slowly and then he’s moving closer, he’s kissing Robert’s neck too and then he’s resting his head there, closing his eyes and Robert’s holding him and he gets it because _fuck he feels safe in Robert’s arms_ , even just for a few seconds.

  
“You don’t have to do -” Robert says, butting in but then Aaron lifts his head and grasps Robert’s hand, dragging him towards the stairs. “I thought you had -"

  
"I’m staying.” Aaron turns unexpectedly and Robert blushes. “Oh and - yeah let’s - maybe that _is_ our thing.” He says, doesn’t need to refer to the whole neck kisses and head burying for Robert to know what he means.

  
Robert looks like he’s a little boy, he has this flash of a smile and then Aaron gets a little flustered.

  
“I mean - I was only saying - it’s a joke if - you know, I -” Robert kisses him hard and then Aaron’s tugging at his towel and -

  
He’s staying put, probably going to do more of their little safety thing a lot more too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well i hope you liked this guys, it's been really tough over this weekend and i've tried to contribute to the positivity by releasing lots of fluffy stuff for everyone to read so i hope that this helped. if you're new to this fic then i implore you to go back and read other fluffy chapters to keep your thoughts nice and light for as long as possible! <3


End file.
